Hey, Friends! How did you do at locking in last week? I could’ve done better, but I didn’t lock in on doing things that brought me joy in the mornings. That ranged from dancing around my living room (again) to meeting a friend for coffee. Speaking of friends,
Question for you, my friend: How do you make friends as an adult?
I think making adult friendships is hard. Honestly, I was never the most popular kid in school. I was shy and usually had to build up the courage to talk. Most of the time, it felt easier to be quiet and be in my own little world. (Are you now starting to see where a lot of the motivation for my book characters comes from?)
However, there is one particular thing that always made me imagine that I would eventually have a solid friend group as an adult. It was the show Living Single. Why else? I kind of had my own live version of it thanks to my mom.
When I was younger, my mom shared a space with some roommates. I thought it was the coolest thing to see how they interacted. They each had their own style, and they had big personalities. They also went to the same church and were in what I thought to be the absolute coolest COGIC choir in existence. You couldn’t tell me that I wasn’t cool by proximity because my mom was in the choir. I have another story about that, but I’ll save it for a later time.
What I learned from my mom and her group of friends was something special. They were simply trying to survive their 20s in the 90s. I got to see firsthand how different women aspired to chase their dreams of life, love, and passion. If you ever encounter any of them, they have some of the best stories. Each woman was on a journey to live life on her own terms, and for little Ashley, that made the world seem full of endless opportunities. I witnessed their wins, losses, grief, and growth. I’m happy to say that they are still friends to this day.
I want to say that I have something similar, but I don’t. I have assorted friends from college. However, after college, we weren’t fully integrated into each other’s lives. We all went our separate ways, which, I believe, is more common now. (Let me know if you think otherwise.) When we do get a chance to catch up, even if it’s because we’ve had to schedule a call like it’s a business meeting, it’s like we haven’t missed a beat. It’s different, that’s for sure. Times have changed, so maybe that means the way we do friendships has changed too. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. I would feel blessed to have besties I’ve rocked with for over 30 years. I’ve made some of my very best author friends online and mom friends while randomly doing mom things. Do these types of friendships have the potential to have the same type of longevity?
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Leave a comment here or on one of my social media channels: Facebook, Instagram, X, BlueSky, or LinkedIn.
Until next Sunday…
-Ash