Trigger warning -sexual assault
We’ve all seen the footage of Grace Tame meeting with Morrison and her clear reaction to him. We've also seen all the negative and positive feedback she has received for it. What I find interesting is the negative comments are mostly coming from men. I've met my fair share of men who believe women should smile more ( you'd be prettier if you smiled) men who believe women should be polite and respectful.
I started thinking about times in my life that I felt forced into smiling and being polite. My mum was strict on manners from a young age we were taught to say please and thank you. We asked to leave the table after meals. No elbows on tables, be respectful to your elders, don't talk back. For the most part Im glad I learned manners and even now I'm quick to use them. I also think that there were times in my life I should of done what Grace did to Scott Morrison
The first time I felt uncomfortable by a man was when my neighbour Colin (his real name because I’m done protecting creeps) seen me in my driveway struggling to try and fix my old rusty bike. He came jogging over which I thought was weird because we had lived in the house for over 6 years and he’d never come over before. He smiled and said hi. I smiled back and responded (after all it was the polite thing to do) he asked why he hadn’t seen my dad around and I told him that dad had left. Everything in my body kept telling me that something was wrong but I continued to be polite because it was what I was taught to do with elders. After that Colin would show up more and more he quickly became friends with mum. He’d buy pizza and we’d have dinner at his. He’d help with odd jobs and mum would always say to say thank you. So when he had me at his house and started telling me I was pretty I’d smile and say “thank you” when he started to talk to me about sex. I laughed it off and remained polite. When he showed me graphic movies I’d sit in an uncomfortable silence instead of scowling and walking out because that wasn’t polite. When the sexual assaults began I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want him to get into trouble because he was helping mum and I, wasn’t he? when I was at his house with mum I’d smile and act happy and be polite. After all I didn’t want mum to get angry at me for being rude.
Eventually we moved and I guess it became too much of a hassle to try and get me alone because Colin simply disappeared from our lives. It had finally stopped and still I couldn’t tell anyone because I was too polite to talk about these topics. Over the years when men made comments about me I’d smile or laugh it off I didn’t want to cause a scene. When I felt my butt being pinched I’d just laugh and walk off. While inside I was angry and screaming.
So maybe it’s time we learned that we shouldn’t in fact smile and be polite to “keep up with appearances” but when someone makes us uncomfortable that we should be able to scowl,side eye,frown and not engage with that person no matter our age. No matter if that person is a neighbour, family member, Teacher or the prime minister of Australia