Emotional processing = a LOT of sleep
This week has been a little quieter than usual.
And by quieter, I mostly mean that I have slept an almost comical amount over the past five or six days.
There’s been a lot shifting around in my life lately. Even though everything surrounding the divorce has actually felt pretty lighthearted and peaceful, I think there was still more emotional processing happening underneath the surface than I realized.
And it hasn’t just been the divorce.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my old life. The people I’ve known. The places I’ve lived. The versions of myself I’ve been. There are a lot of chapters closing right now, some very literally and some more quietly, and apparently my body’s preferred method of processing the end of an era is to simply power down for 18 hours a day.
Fair enough.
When I haven’t been sleeping, I’ve mostly been journaling, thinking, feeling things, and letting whatever needs to move through me move through me.
Not particularly glamorous. But probably necessary.
The creative retreat that became a sleep retreat
I drove out to Wendover for a couple of nights because I was able to get a free hotel room with my "player comps".
The original idea was that I would turn it into a little creative retreat. Get away from everything, hole up in a hotel room, work on music, write, think, make things.
Instead, I slept.
A lot.
So I suppose it became a different kind of retreat.
And honestly, I think that was probably what I needed more.
Sometimes I forget that doing nothing can actually be doing something. There was clearly a lot happening internally, even if externally my biggest accomplishment was repeatedly becoming unconscious.
Back to SLC
After Wendover, I headed back to Salt Lake City and stayed with my friend Andrew again.
He recently moved into a condo downtown, and the view from his place is really beautiful. You can see the city and the courthouse building right outside the window, so I’ll include a photo because it felt like a nice little moment of being back in Salt Lake while simultaneously feeling like I’m already halfway into whatever comes next.
That night, I also took myself out to dinner.
I somehow ended up being the only person in the entire restaurant, which made the whole experience feel oddly private and somewhat cinematic.
The Thai food was really good, but perhaps even more importantly, there was a giant metal Transformer standing near a very strange little Christmas tree at the front of the restaurant.
Making room
And that’s honestly most of the update this week.
I slept.
I journaled.
I processed.
I slept some more.
But I do feel different than I did six days ago. Lighter, maybe. Like some things have finally been allowed to finish moving through me instead of getting carried into the next chapter just because I didn’t have time to deal with them.
Today I’m heading to Vegas, where I’ll be for the next ten days or so.
And I’m hoping all of this clearing-out creates a little more room inside me for whatever comes next.
New feelings. New adventures. New creativity. New ideas. New people.
New chapters.
Preferably with slightly fewer naps.
But no promises :P
<3 ak