I don’t think people outside Ukraine fully understand what it feels like to live in a city when ballistic missiles are flying almost nonstop - and you know there may be nothing between them and you.
This is what Kyiv feels like now.
You hear the first explosion.
Then another.
Then another.
And without even realizing it, you start counting the seconds between them.
Sometimes russia launches around 40 ballistic missiles in half an hour.
Sometimes “just” 20.
And that word - “just” - says everything about what war does to your mind.
Twenty ballistic missiles somehow becomes the better night.
russians know our air defense is critically limited. They know we do not have enough Patriot systems or interceptor missiles, and lately they are exploiting that weakness as brutally as possible.
They are also getting ballistic missiles from North Korea, which makes one thought impossible to ignore:
This can become even worse.
After nights like this, I barely sleep.
I have terrible headaches from stress, lack of sleep and constant anxiety.
Even when the sirens stop, my body doesn’t really believe the danger is over.
Then morning comes and you open your phone to see what disappeared overnight.
Another home.
Another warehouse.
Another street covered in glass.
More civilians killed.
More children among them.
And more and more places in Kyiv are becoming ruins.
Now I’m also afraid of winter.
It is only August, but russia is already attacking energy infrastructure in Odesa right now.
We know what comes next.
Electricity.
Heating.
Power stations.
And eventually Kyiv too.
What happens when it is freezing outside and there is no heating for days?
russia is also attacking warehouses and civilian logistics.
Food warehouses.
Delivery hubs.
Places ordinary people depend on.
And lately, I already notice it in stores.
Some shelves are emptier.
Some products are harder to find.
This is how war slowly enters every part of your life.
First you lose sleep.
Then electricity.
Then heating.
Then another familiar place disappears.
And now there is a new nightmare above us - jet-powered shaheds.
Only yesterday, around 200 jet shaheds were reported over Kyiv.
And the most terrifying part is that many of them were guided.
That means somewhere, in real time, a human being can help direct a weapon toward a living city.
Below it are apartment buildings.
Children sleeping.
Families hiding in corridors.
People in bathrooms.
And someone still guides it toward us.
That thought stays with me.
This war is getting worse.
More ballistic missiles.
More drones.
More civilian deaths.
More children killed and wounded.
And at the same time, we have less and less ability to defend ourselves.
For us, Patriots are not some abstract military topic.
They are the difference between a missile exploding in the sky -
and exploding inside someone’s home.
Sometimes all I want is something incredibly simple.
To sleep through one entire night.
To wake up because morning arrived.
Not because something exploded.