We easily believe that living authentically is not something which is available to us now. And that it must look a certain kind of idealised way.
We tend to view authenticity as some permanent state we want to arrive at some time in the future. That it’s something to be worked towards and attained, eventually. Where our life will look a particular, complete way, and where no more problems and struggle exist. We will have arrived at last, we fool ourselves into thinking, where we are living nothing less than our dream life.
Yet, all of this way of thinking is merely another illusion and ego-trap that it’s very easy to fall into; a trap which eliminates the potential for living authentically now.
Furthermore, in my experience authenticity is experienced in the moments of our life now. Each moment holds the promise for us to live from our authentic self. Here. Now. Not in some promised land of the future.
Rather, it is through the gradual and steady accumulation of such important moments that over time lead to a much more solid sense of self and a more sustained return to our True Self.
Such moments happen when what you are feeling, both emotionally and physically, is allowed simply to arise. There’s no masking through your behavior and words, nor is there any tensing in your body. In fact, the opposite occurs: your body softens, your tears flow unencumbered, your manage to say what you do/don’t need in that moment, and you give yourself permission and space to let this experience unfold in its own way and time.
Within these heroic moments, where a lot is going on simultaneously in the body and the brain, there is also a very brief window of opportunity. This is the moment where we can make a choice: We can choose to speak up. We can choose to let our emotions flow. We can choose to stay with ourselves this time and not abandon ourselves in favour of either saving face or making the other person/people feel more comfortable. Above all, we can chose to inhabit our deepest vulnerability.
As Brené Brown reminds us: “Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”
Finally, the added bonus to all of this is that in such moments not only is a deep connection to one’s self made and strengthened, but simultaneously, connection to others happens much more easily too. Because whenever anyone in any circumstances inhabits their authentic self, those around them get naturally drawn into a more authentic place within themselves.
Authenticity encourages and welcomes authenticity.
It's vitally important to cherish and reward these moments, and know that not only are you building your own true self back up, but you’re also enabling more authenticity to flourish in the world; and we all need as much of that as possible.
© Angela Dunning
This article was originally published in The Eden Magazine, this is a revised and edited version.
Image by Markela Kousalova, 2008.