Becoming Conscious Requires The Courage ...

Becoming Conscious Requires The Courage to be Vulnerable

Jan 13, 2025

“As someone once pointed out to me, when you become conscious, the first thing you discover is why you stayed unconscious all those years. Being conscious means you really have to feel what you feel, which is frequently very vulnerable and raw.” ~ Pema Chödrön

This is why many people vehemently resist becoming more self-aware. They will become even more defensive when challenged to look at themselves, their attitudes and actions. It is the fear of feeling and of being seen as vulnerable which most terrifies so many people. Some people go their whole lives never opening that particular door, which is a great tragedy because, along with the rawness and nakedness of vulnerability, comes incredible depths of feeling; ALL feeling, as the capacity to feel is relaxed. They also miss out on profound and deep connections to themselves and others; preferring to always keep people at a good distance and so no one ever really gets to know them, just this rigid one-dimensional persona that they adopt each morning on waking.

For myself I have to generally avoid these kinds of people, having grown up in a family where this type of defence was not only the norm but also encouraged, and any deviation from it instantly labelled you as problematic, weak and too sensitive. I find such people impenetrable and also ultimately unsafe as I can’t be myself with them. I have to hide my true self and feelings and needs, and that is simply something I am no longer prepared to do. So I choose not to spend any time with them if possible.

Which brings me nicely to the horses who also have a strong reaction to such people. Mostly they will avoid or move away from someone who is this rigidly defended and incongruent. But some horses will even threaten to or actually attack such a person as they can sense their inherent unsafeness and dysregulation. You can only be congruent, coherent and regulated when you allow your feelings of vulnerability to come to the surface, which is precisely why healing with horses is so powerful.

But we have to be willing to go there and if we’re not, then the horses simply won’t engage. That’s the deal. And not everyone is meant to go there, choosing instead a life they’ve grown so used to which feels safe and very guarded.

Becoming conscious is definitely not for the faint of heart. It takes courage, inner-strength and most of all, the ability to tolerate being truly seen beneath all the masks and cloaks we wear.

© Angela Dunning

Image by Bilyana Ritskovas, licensed via Shutterstock.

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