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I Cried At My Desk...

I Cried At My Desk...

Apr 05, 2022

A Quick & potentially unnecessary share but here we are... I suddenly stopped working earlier and began to think about if/when people I've known over the years start to die. I literally sat at my desk in floods of tears for half an hour or so. hahahah I thought about the randomers I've met on nights-out, old work colleagues, family-friends, I stayed stuck flicking through the warmth of my memories and feelings for people I don't even do life with anymore. I didn't even get to go as far as my inner circle but was overwhelmed by the fullness of grief and love that I was feeling. Timeless grief but so much freaking love man!

It made me think... You will never know or be able to fully grasp JUST how much people care about you. There are people who ADORE YOU! Don't miss it. Someone on this planet gives an actual care about your life. I've already thought about my death, many-a-times... what keeps me here is knowing that I am cared for. I've never always felt this way, believe me. I've spent more time feeling hated if I were to be extremely honest about it but even those were merely projections of my own feelings towards self.

How wonderful is it that we get to experience this love by simply being this love. WILL YOU BE LOVE & BE LOVED!? Frikking mad. It's as insane as it is.

I'm not sure where people are at today or what life is doing exactly but you are cared for my "friend." I've become more distant over the years and extremely selective with how I spend my energy (I get tired so easily these days lol) but if we've crossed paths believe me, when i say you are still a thought and feeling within my heart. Honestly.

This experience also reaffirmed my (somewhat-of-a) belief in life beyond this realm. Surely this cannot just end? There's far too much love to experience and it's impossible to feel it all within this miniscule of a lifetime. Surely!?

(This is either for somebody or test of vulnerability. hahaha)

Love to you all. xxx

P.s If anyone ever wanted to unfriend/unfollow me but you may feel bad to do so... here is your permission! I hold no hostages ever, we should be free people! I wish you all the very best. You need not explain unless i've offended you and I would prefer it, if you'd communicate that with me but you it's still your choice.

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