The ripple effect of self-awareness in your life, and in the lives of those around you, is more powerful than most of us realise.
You know those moments when you find yourself reacting to someone or something without fully understanding why? The reactions might be subtle, or they could be a full-blown emotional outburst. Maybe it’s a comment that pisses you off, or a situation that sends you spiralling into frustration. We often blame these external triggers for our reactions, but really, it’s all within you. The key to changing your life isn’t about controlling the world around you — it’s about becoming aware of your internal world.
Self-awareness is the foundation of personal transformation. It’s that moment when you realise your triggers — those emotional responses that flare up in reaction to something outside of yourself — are actually your own. They’re rooted in your past experiences, beliefs, and perceptions, not in the actions or words of others. Others are just holding up a mirror for you. That person in front of you isn’t making you upset — it’s the meaning you’re attaching to their words or actions. It’s time to break the cycle of emotional escalation.
I’m writing this from my own experience. I used to get triggered by things that “weren’t fair.” And trust me, I still hate things that aren’t fair. But here’s the reality: life isn’t fair. Fortunately, this doesn’t affect my mood or life like it used to. A good friend of mine held up a mirror to my discomfort. I would cringe every time he complained about how things weren’t fair in his life because I saw myself in him. I’d spent years complaining about things not being fair, and in some cases, it even stopped me from trying things I wanted to do. Once I acknowledged this, I started to change how I reacted to situations. It didn’t mean the situations were any less shitty, but I could move through them with more grace and ease than before.
I know I go on about taking one single, conscious breath (or two, or even three), but the next time you feel yourself getting triggered — pause. Take that breath. That small act of mindfulness creates space between the trigger and your reaction, allowing you to respond rather than react. It’s a pattern interrupt — a moment of clarity that can shift the entire situation. Every time you do this, the trigger shrinks. It will start to realise that whatever’s happening isn’t such a big deal anymore. Over time, it might even disappear completely.
That conscious belly breath can help you reclaim control, reminding your body that you are the boss and that you are safe. The reality is, your body is just trying to keep you safe. Your amygdala is bored — you’re no longer in life-threatening situations, so it needs something to do! The more you interrupt these patterns, the weaker the triggers become. One day, they’ll magically disappear.
When we’re stuck in reaction mode, the world around us feels hostile, chaotic, and overwhelming. But when we approach life from a place of self-awareness, everything changes. The world suddenly becomes more neutral. You start to see things as they are, rather than through the lens of your triggers. This shift in perception creates a ripple effect on those around you.
When you don’t react, others don’t have to react to your reaction. It sounds simple, but it’s a massive shift in the energy exchange between people. Instead of conversations turning into arguments or confrontations, they stay calm, constructive, and centred. This has the potential to change not just your life, but the lives of everyone around you.
“But Rach, how do we do this without years of yoga or meditation?” I hear you ask!
Start by noticing your triggers. Do you get road rage? Is your workmate always complaining? During your day, notice the moments when you feel triggered. Pay attention to how your body responds — tightness in your chest, a rush of adrenaline. For me, it shows up in my belly. Where do your triggers show up?
Listen with an open heart and curiosity to the story you’re telling yourself when these things happen. Every trigger comes with a story. Maybe you’re telling yourself that someone’s disrespecting you, or that a situation is unfair. Ask yourself: Is this story based on facts, or is it a reflection of my past experiences? Often, our reactions are shaped by old wounds, not by the present moment.
Pause and take that breath. When you feel a trigger arise, don’t act immediately. In that space, ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now, and why?” Simply pausing before reacting allows you to break the cycle of automatic behaviour.
Think of your breath as an anchor. Anytime you feel overwhelmed or triggered, anchor yourself with your breath. Take slow, deep nasal breaths. Exhaling for longer than you inhale activates your parasympathetic nervous system, calming your fight-or-flight response and helping you regain control of your emotions.
Once you’ve calmed down, ask yourself: How can I see this situation differently? What if the person who triggered me is also struggling with their own emotions or stress? By reframing the situation with compassion or neutrality, you dissolve the emotional charge.
Give it a go! What have you got to lose? 