I’ve always liked this quote by Lao Tzu: “Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” As I grew and spent more time navigating my inner world, this quote slowly started making more and more sense.
About ten years ago, my gut health wasn’t great! I was feeling bloated and went to see my feisty, wise, pint-sized, eclectic plant magician (or naturopath!). She was my go-to whenever I felt sluggish. Although she’d get me back on track, I’d derail myself again six months later because I wasn’t deeply changing my habits. I’d slip back into familiar patterns and become bloated again. This particular day, as I was walking out, she printed off a piece of paper and handed it to me. It was half a page about ‘victim mentality’.
I took it home and read it. What was she talking about? I don’t have a victim mentality! But I respected her, so I started Googling and did a deep dive. I also bought ‘The Four Agreements’ by Don Miguel Ruiz. One of the agreements is ‘Be impeccable with your word; speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using words to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word to offer love; never use it to cause fear or pain in another (or yourself).’ I read this book slowly and took it all onboard, integrating it when and where I needed to.
I’d been doing a lot of yoga and had been focusing on the way I spoke to myself. But I hadn’t really taken too much notice of the words that came out of my mouth. Housemates would annoy me, and I’d bitch about them and blame them for things. I’d bring up the past and give it power over the present me. I’d find myself saying things like “I never have enough money” or “There’s no way I could ever…” (Okay, that second one isn’t really something I’d say, but it’s very common!). Point is, the more you think these thoughts, the more you say these words, and the more they stick in your reality, proving you right. Ultimately, we are a product of all the thoughts and actions we’ve taken or not taken.
Then I started hearing myself saying things like, “If he didn’t do that, then I wouldn’t be like this.” “If this didn’t happen, then I wouldn’t be in this situation.” Or “It’s not my fault.” It’s actually hard to come up with examples because I’ve deleted this type of talk from my vocabulary. These words carry energy and they don’t serve me at all. I was literally blaming people or situations in my life for where I was. It’s not the blame part that’s scary; it’s that every time I said this, I was giving away my power to someone or something else.
Instead of saying, “Dad’s side of the family never loved me like they love my brother; they even changed the will so he got everything when they all died,” I now say, “After Dad and Nanna died, I realised I had spent my whole life and a lot of energy (and emotional rollercoasters) trying to be part of a family that never tried to be a part of my life. It was all one-sided. When they passed away, I realised I could let go of them and focus my love and energy on those who love me and want to be in my life.” The more I tell this story, the lighter and happier I feel about it. Words carry energy, and they create our reality.
Every second, every minute, every hour of each and every day, we experience thousands of thoughts. Some are positive, others negative; some conscious, others unconscious. Happy or sad, they drastically alter our mood and decisions (which in turn alters our life story as our thoughts create our reality). Now, I’m not saying there’s no such thing as being a victim. I’ve had things happen to (or for) me that definitely warrant that label. But I have the choice in how I talk about them and how I move forward in life. I understand some things that happen are just plain shit and unfair.
I have literally rewritten so many of my common (non-serving) stories. With pen and paper, I wrote down the stories I’d always told as I thought them or heard them come out of my mouth (mainly about my childhood or past relationships). I rewrote them, word for word, to take back my power. To this day, I tell those stories differently. The times I was sexually abused, the fights I had with people, the breakups, how my ex ended up in jail for murder, the nasty job situations — I’ve somehow managed, with a lot of work, to put a positive spin on all of these, and I don’t think about them badly anymore. It’s been a game changer in creating a better reality for myself.
I drive a lot. I live in my van and work on the road. In the last three months, I’ve probably driven 20,000 km. That’s a lot of time to think and listen to music and audiobooks. I’ve also noticed that the music I listen to these days is lyrically wholesome. I love all types of music, but when the lyrics degrade people or are angry, depressed, or plain sad — I can’t seem to change the song quickly enough!
The lyrics I listen to make me smile, laugh, connect, and deeply resonate with me. I’m currently resonating with artists like Roaman, Xavier Rudd, Solfeggio healing frequencies, Rob Riccardo, Wookiefoot, Satsang, DJ Drez and many more who sing of love, life, and coming together to unite. My playlists are varied, but I have noticed that heartbreak, angry, depressing, gangsta, woe-is-me type lyrics are so far from my radar these days. The music and lyrics need to uplift me, make me want to dance, sing, and smile. If they don’t, I’m skipping them! I love a good chill tune, but not if the artist is singing about how sad life is since something happened.
Words carrying energy has become a constantly evolving door knock in my self-development. I was recently doing a course on alchemy and manifestation, and one of the meditations got me to feel gratitude and love. Throughout the meditation, I had an “aha” moment. Any feeling word literally carries a feeling — they’re not just words. Duh, Rach, it’s a feeling word! I’d just never put the feel it in my body ‘feeling’ and the ‘word’ together on such a deep level. I mean, I know what happy feels like, and I know sad, and I know angry, etc. But saying those words and sitting with them to feel the effects they physically and energetically have on my body was a game changer.
This might sound obvious, but I think we’ve been conditioned to say certain things at certain times without acknowledging the actual energetic feeling that comes with these words. If you meditate on a specific word, feel the feeling and energetic change that happens within your body. For example, if I asked you to imagine a moment in your life where you were insanely grateful for someone, then told you to keep imagining and remembering this moment, feeling in your body how it feels. You might start to feel tingles, butterflies, or lightness. Then, if I told you to imagine a moment where you were really loved, keep imagining and remembering this time. Now feel what’s happening in your body. Try it with different words. Feel into your body at the energetic shifts that happen.
We are all just energy, and if changing our thoughts and words can change our vibration for the better, then why wouldn’t we?!
Me, trying to feel the word 'gangsta'!!!