April Flaten
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5MoA Ep:22 Confidence Part 3 of 3

5MoA Ep:22 Confidence Part 3 of 3

Mar 01, 2023

So we are on part 3 of 3 of our conversation about confidence. It is time to start looking at some more action steps that you can take to build and cultivate your confidence.  Before we get into these action steps I want to make a specific distinction between confidence and arrogance.  I have heard this many times, and honestly I’ve said this to myself as well. And that is, “I don’t want to be cocky” or “I don’t want to be arrogant.”  Fair enough and now that we know what we don’t want, let’s get more specific and define what you do want to be.

Let’s start with arrogance. Arrogance, in my opinion, is about trying to prove something to someone else without understanding that you already have it.  The dictionary definition of arrogance is “having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities.”  So here are a few questions to consider.  Why would someone feel the need to exaggerate their importance and abilities?  Do you need to show others what you can do because you are uncertain that you can do it?  Do you need others to see who you are because you struggle to see yourself?

And let me tell you, even if everyone else sees you, that won't necessarily bring you confidence.

Everyone else might believe in you.

Everyone else might see who you are.

Everyone else might see your potential.


If you are unable to see yourself,

If you are uncertain about yourself,

If you don’t understand the power and autonomy that you have,

Then confidence may continue to elude you.

Now onto confidence. Confidence is a reflection.

Confidence is about you seeing you for you.

Confidence is you being certain that you can show up for yourself.

Confidence is about expressing your abilities, qualities and characteristics so that you can see yourself doing them. When you can do this, it won’t matter what anyone else thinks or says, because you are certain of yourself and your abilities.

So let’s look for some practical steps that you can take to begin to see yourself clearly.

  1. Simple affirmations are a great place to start. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself what you know you can do!  Phrases like “I know i can (fill in the sentence)” and “I know I am good at (fill in the sentence)” are 2 simple affirmations that you can customize for yourself.

  2. Celebrate the things that you have accomplished that you are proud of.  Go listen to the “Celebrate your wins” episode for more on that!

  3. Reflect on the process you took to accomplish the things you are proud of. Remember this is about taking stock of your abilities and gathering evidence of your awesomeness.

  4. Prepare and practice the things that you want to excel in and be confident in.  Keep track of your progress along the way!  Remember where you started and give yourself credit for the work that you have done.

For more on taking action and building confidence, enjoy this video episode!

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