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Too Much

Too Much

Feb 16, 2023

I'm tired of being too much. Too much for anyone and everyone. I explode words on people without meaning to and if I know I'm about to do it, I do give warning. But I can't help it.

I can't help that everything interests me, especially if someone is taking the time to tell me about something they find fascinating. Them being excited is the best! So I love to learn about the things others love, straight from them.

But it means I have a lot of random info rattling around in this mind. Not to mention my own thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires. All of which are too much for one person to handle.

So many pieces of me are broken up and distributed to others so I don't overwhelm. I couldn't collect all my distributed pieces if I tried.

You know why I never talk about certain topics with certain people? It's not that I'm afraid to share, it's because I tried and was told they didn't care. Topics like my job, my romantic life, favorite recipes, I don't talk about them. Some mundane topics are permanently off the table because too many people just don't want to listen.

So now I tailor every conversation to the exact person I'm talking to and the image of me that works best to hold their interest in me.

I hate limiting myself but it's either hold back to many people and attempt well-roundedness that way or keeping it all bottled up and telling no one anything.

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