You’ve probably seen the meme below or some variation of it that frequently goes around on social media. I cringe every time someone posts it…

The idea of my sobriety being rented is something I can’t get behind. Especially when owning my sobriety is how I’ve stayed sober for so long. The traditional way of anonymity, powerlessness, and playing the victim never worked for me. It took owning all my shit and working my ass off to get and stay sober.

I get that one of the sentiments here is to put in work every day, which is valid. But the rent analogy falls short. I earned every bit of my sobriety, and in my book, that means I own it outright. 💯

I should say I came up with the name “Own Sobriety” during my first month sober back in January of 2018. Not sure if the meme existed yet, but I hadn’t seen it. It’s pure coincidence that the name contradicts the meme. But it’s a perfect example of perspective…

Even in my first month, I knew I needed to treat this time differently. I was tired of the process, the stopping & starting, the relapsing harder than before — everything. So while sitting in my room in a detox facility in Northeast Indiana, I promised myself I’d do whatever it took to make this time different.

During that detox, I was in bad shape. Despite being medicated, I was shaking uncontrollably and withdrawing hard. But this time had to be different. So a couple days in, I forced myself to leave my room and sit in the community area of our detox wing. I socialized with other patients and got involved in card games. ♠️

Over the next few days, a group of 4 of us became regulars in the community room playing Spades, chatting about life & what led us there. It made the time much more bearable. Instead of staying in my room and agonizing through the withdrawals, I let it all be seen. I was clearly shaking & sweating more than anyone, but I figured no one else could judge, so why not just own my condition while making the best of it?

During our daily “recreation time,” I even got out on the court to play some volleyball — still shaking so badly I could barely stand still. Later, my buddy from our card playing group asked, “How do you get out there and play ball while shaking like that?” “Just own it,” I replied. And that became my motto for my recovery & sobriety.

Own Sobriety was created around that idea of “just own it.” That means taking responsibility for all aspects of your sobriety — including your past. It doesn’t matter which program you use or how you got sober. It only matters that you be accountable for it and have a desire to keep growing.

To own your sobriety means to stop making excuses and start changing the things you can control. It means to acknowledge your fuck-ups, but also that you celebrate your wins. It means to tell it like it is, but to know that you’re not perfect. It means to rock your style and be who you are, but also to be open-minded and adaptable. 👍

Owning your sobriety is about confidence and mindset. You’re not afraid to say “this is how I was.” You’re also not afraid to say “this is how I am now.”

With an ownership mindset, sobriety isn’t a weakness but a sign of success in overcoming an obstacle. It’s not a burden, sacrifice, or about what we can’t do. It’s a chance to experience a more fulfilling life and show what we can do now.

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What It Means To "Own" Your Sobriety