Leaving my home country and then coming back, feels like a fish out of water. I’m torn between worlds bigger than I currently live in.
I belong here, yet I don’t.
Do you sometimes feel that you’re supposed to be doing larger things in life? Be in bigger cities? See unfamiliar towns? Getting lost in the sea of crowds? Listening to the echoes of words strangely spoken? When I left, part of me left the country too. The country I’ve loved all my life with all its beauty and madness.
When I came back, I was a foreigner in my town. When you begin to see a world larger than yours, it’s difficult to unsee. When I came back, I had to recalibrate my existence to fit where I’m currently in. Home.
A greater part of me knows I ought to chase the finer things in life. I feel like a mouse trapped in an endless round of wheels I alone maneuvered.
I need to be out there, but I’m here for now. It’s a new feeling I’m trying to figure out. It’s brave to start all over again. It takes guts to start from scratch again. I sometimes forget that there is strength in humility. I often view it as a failure instead of “a new beginning.”
When our mind is clouded with uncertainties and fears to the extreme, we escape. When we doubt the present, we can’t let go of the past. When the present isn’t what we’re supposed to be, we rush the future. When the odds aren’t in our favor, we gamble. I came to understand the essence of acceptance. Accept what is, let go of what was, and hope for what’s coming.
The future will always be uncertain. But today is part of the future we are building. Fears and self-doubt will overshadow our being, but also know that these fears and doubts are obstacles in our way. Success is not only accomplishing one goal but also endlessly achieving one goal after another.
Endure the process. Envision the goal.
Thanks for droppin’ by ❤