A surprising first few days back in Egypt
Slightly confused
Here I am again.
In Egypt.
Hurghada this time.
I did not expect I would feel this calm.
This normal.
Yes I've lived in Egypt before.
Two years on and off in Dahab.
Still, I am not fully sure what is going on with me.
I was really looking forward to being back.
So of course I am excited.
Very.
But instead of crazy butterflies or nerves,
I feel completely in my element. Serene.
As I am sitting here, sipping my drink while writing my first story from this heat in Egypt,
I am slightly confused...
How can this be?
I am alone here, in my little apartment.
In an area I don't know whatsoever.
I don't speak the language.
The only people I know are my neighbors.
And I feel totally satisfied.
How is it possible that the last two years in the Netherlands,
in the country that I've known my whole life,
surrounded by people who are important to me,
I felt out of place?
And here,
all alone,
in a big adventure that logically should trigger some fears in me,
I feel total peace.
Okay maybe I am not being fully honest with you.
There was one day,
right after a full moon eclipse,
that I couldn't stop crying.
A big release.
Necessary.
But apart from that I feel at home.
In myself.
In this country.
In this heat.
And in the Egyptian energy I've missed so much.
Questions I don't have the answers to.
One thing my mind does get stuck in sometimes,
is the not knowing.
I booked an apartment for one month, but what happens after?
I don't know.
I will need to extend my visa,
and that is always a hassle.
And I will have to make a decision.
Will I stay here, if possible?
Am I supposed to go somewhere else?
A new area?
A different city?
My intuition brought me to Hurghada,
but it is a big city with many areas.
I am in a more quiet local area,
20 minutes away from the city.
My mind wants to have answers to the questions that keep circling:
How will I find new connections here?
Should I move to a more crowded place with other foreigners?
Why did the Universe guide me here?
What am I supposed to do here?
I think the answers will come at the right time.
But surrendering to the unknown is not always easy.
My body is my guide?
I do know one thing clearly.
My health comes first.
As you might have read in my previous story,
I struggle with CVS/ME.
My body can quickly crash if I push myself.
Even the slightest things can do that.
Grocery shopping.
Meeting a friend.
Anything really.
So perhaps my body will be my guide.
It feels at peace here.
And as long as that is the case,
I am happy too.
There is no rush.
Which I love about Egypt.
Being in the moment.
Living a slow and simple life.
Maybe that is the answer...
Just allowing myself to stay here.
As long as my body wants.
Yes, my mind wants to take over and push towards a goal.
But if being here for let's say 3 months
and living slowly and peacefully helps my body recover,
then that is more important than any action or direction my mind is eager to jump into.
So.
My body will be my guide for now,
while my mind rushes to figure out every detail.
I guess it's time for surrender.
Perhaps some meditation. ;)
⬇️ If you become a supporter you unlock behind-the-scenes photos. Thank you! ❤️