What's On My Mind #17

What's On My Mind #17

Nov 07, 2021


What's On My Mind is a weekly newsletter where I share some of my thoughts, stories, and ideas to raise awareness; enable personal growth; nourish an open mind; encourage self-discovery; and empowering myself and others with individual responsibility.

"Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity" - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Self-awareness = self-learning = self-knowledge = self-healing = self-realization

I hope you find them of any use.

Every week I open this newsletter with a topic related to an experience I had in the previous week. Well, this week I experienced struggle. I struggled with change, I struggled doing my job, I struggled speaking the truth, I struggled believing in myself, I struggled having hope for the future, I struggled loving others, I struggled and that's ok. I resisted it for a couple of days, that was not ok and caused some unnecessary situations. Reflecting, identifying and accepting the patterns of behaviour before it gets destructive is necessary in these situations. I did and things got better, or at least acceptable. In these times I always try to search for people that speak with reason and logic, as they tend to snap the mind out of the negative thought loop. Jordan Peterson is one of them. I am using his words from a video released this week, instead of my own, to open this week's newsletter.

"I watched Fox News release a message this week:
There are terrible things afoot under the surface of our society, and the perpetrators are coming for you. And coming for us.

And then I watched the Democrats respond in panic and anger, saying:
There are terrible things afoot under the surface of our society, and the perpetrators are coming for you. And coming for us.

Are there terrible things afoot, bubbling under the surface? Is something coming for you? And for us? Ask yourself how true that is of yourself and your own life.

Have you addressed all that? Are you concerning yourself with the dust in your enemy’s eyes, instead of attending to the filth that obscures your own sight? Do we want accusation, suspicion, discord, derision and hatred? Or the peace and prosperity and happiness that beckons to us at this moment like never before?

Who’s the enemy here? Is it the basket of deplorables? Is it the freaks and the queers? Is it the plumbers and carpenters and tradesmen and managers who work honestly and diligently during the day and the soldiers who stalwartly defend the borders and protect us? Is it the artists and visionaries whose expressions of unbridled creativity entertain and rejuvenate us and who continually offer to us an unending panoply of technological miracle? Is it the institutions that guide and protect us that so many lived and died to erect and establish which for all their faults have served us so well?

Do we want revenge or justice?
Do we want contempt or mercy?
Do we want war—or peace?
And what are you aiming at in your heart of hearts?

I see even the best of men degenerating into the exchange of blows.
I see even the best of men identifying the enemy in our neighbours and friends.
I see even the best of men falling prey to cowardice and self-righteous anger.

It needs to stop.
I need to stop.
You need to stop.
Before it’s too late.

Who is the enemy here?
The snake in your heart?
The lies on your tongue?
The arrogance of your intellect?
The cowardice of our refusal to see?

The enemy is that which divides to sow discord.
The enemy is the pride and fear that stops us from lending a hand arcoss the divide.
The enemy is the great and eternal adversary of mankind.
And if we demonize our brothers, our comrades-in-arms, do we not precisely call that dread spirit forth? Have we not yet learned?


Even unto your enemy.
Which is you."
[...]Orginal art: https://www.artstation.com/artwork/AbR9y

Teachings & Insights
The things you see when you slow down - page 190

Write down on a sheet of paper the names of the places you want to travel to before you die, the people you hope to meet, the concerts you know you will enjoy, the sport games you are dying to see, the restaurants you have to try.

Then experience everything on the list, item by item. Nobody needs to know about this list. Allow yourself a little secret of your own. It will feel good to do something just for yourself.

Video I want to share
A formless mind is capable of endless, expansive growth.


Quote to contemplate
"When health is absent, wisdom cannot reveal itself, art cannot manifest, strength cannot fight, wealth becomes useless, and intelligence cannot be applied." - Herophilos

Fundamentals - vision, thought, breath, water, nutrition, nature, rest, movement, relationships.
Toxic relationships
A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. On a basic level, any relationship that makes you feel worse rather than better can become toxic over time. Toxic relationships can exist in just about any context, from the playground to the boardroom to the bedroom. You may even deal with toxic relationships among your family members or between a government and its citizens. Here are a couple of warning signs:

Overly controlling
Abusers will try to make you believe they know what’s best for you. At first, it will start with them being concerned for your safety, next thing they’ll be tracking you. Their controlling behaviour, with even the slightest negative comment, can fill you with self-doubt, which can be debilitating to your independence.

Shutting down
No one likes to be ignored. During a disagreement, abusers will sometimes go mute – refusing to discuss things further. This can lead you to feel like you don’t matter or dispensible.

Dissappointment or disgust
If you are in a healthy relationship a conversation should be two-sided and respectful. If contempt becomes a theme in your relationship it will result in nasty reactions like loss of interest, sarcasm, name-calling, or egotistical retorts. This verbal abuse is belittling.

"If, then" statements
"IF you go out with your friends, THEN I will leave you”. These threats are blackmailing intimidation tactics and they go hand-in-hand with your abuser’s need to control everything. Their intention is to take away your choice, make you feel like you’re obligated to stay – especially if the threats are of self-harm.

Overly defensive
Your conversations cannot flow smoothly if it is constantly blocked by defenses. Positivity can be achieved by being open and honest with each other. If you feel you have to constantly defend yourself over the battering then that is a red flag for an abusive relationship.

Unpredictable moodswings
We all have tempers and off-days. But if your everyday lives are hindered by these moods it can be seriously confusing. This leads you to walk around on eggshells, hoping not to trigger an outburst. Often this type of abuser will reel you back in after they explode on you unnecessarily, showering you with apologies, declarations, gifts, and more.

This form of verbal abuse is belittling, to say the least. This is where your abuser will attempt to make you feel like you are crazy, or the reason for blame. If you express an idea and experience even just the slightest put-down from your abuser, they are psychologically manipulating you into thinking you were wrong all along. They make you believe you are the reason for all the trouble. This is accompanied by feelings of guilt or shame at having caused this negativity.

When dealing with any type of toxic relationship, it's important to focus on your health and well-being by establising clear boundaries, and raising awareness. Consequently, if you're dealing with someone who drains you of your energy and happiness, consider removing them from your life, or at least limiting your time spent with them. 

3 short clips with a ton of useful information. The titles speak for themselves.




Did you know...
There are more life forms on your body than people on earth. You are a planet teeming with microbes. Trillions of them inhabit your body. In fact, 90 percent of the cells in your body are actually composed of microbes.

Thank you for your spending your valuable time on reading this newsletter.
Your support is much appreciated.

Joey van Tilburg

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