We all have seen ‘inspirational’ posts on social media urging us to be the main characters in the plots of our lives. We have all seen influencers asking us to take control of our narratives and be our own muses.
But have we noticed how most of us fell into the trap and our now living examples of the main character syndrome?
What is the main character syndrome?
The first problem we need to address is the fundamental error in the phrase itself. It is not a syndrome or a clinical term. It is coined by the modern world as a phrase to describe people who tend to come across as the ‘hero’ in every situation; extraordinary or mundane.
I would be dishonest if I said I was never a part of the loop as well. I remember putting on a dash of lipstick even while going to the grocery store, two minutes from where I live, or putting up a facade even at my own home because I assumed someone or the other was constantly viewing and judging me. I was impressing someone who did not exist.
People with this tendency also undermine the existence and value of people around them no matter how close they are. After a point, it is not intentional because it becomes reflexive; a way of life.
Were there downsides to always being the hero?
While it is all unicorns and rainbows to see yourself as the star in every situation, the pressure that comes with standing out in places you have no hold over is exhausting. Not every moment is worth an Instagram picture and not everyone around you, an extra in your story.
Not only this, personal relationships become fragile too because no one deserves a person in their life who makes everything about themselves or steals their thunder on every occasion. The hero also loses touch with reality gradually making them emotionally shallow and inconsiderate.
What is the antidote to this problem?
Someone who saves the hero does not always have to be the hero too, it is the unbothered, unhinged, and unapologetically real — side character.
But aren’t side characters, sidekicks?
NO! Being the side character is actually about taking control of one’s life without needing to be under the spotlight. Side characters have the most freedom because they don’t measure their self-esteem with how much attention they receive.
Being in a world where you are an Emily going about Paris, a Mindy Chen kinda personality might save you from a lot of misery!
After having a full-blown case of the Main Character Syndrome until I became an adult, channeling my Side Character Energy made me participate, more than perform, and have some of my best moments of growth as a person. I started being grateful for every little privilege that I had and became a person my friends or acquaintances could rely on for perspectives or advice.
I realized the fulfillment that came with being the side character when I started contributing to college events behind the scenes and felt as happy and content as the main characters on stage after the success.
Does this mean we should never feel like main characters?
As a Libra, I will happily disagree because balance is the key to everything. Life is dynamic, sometimes we need to put our foot down and take charge of the limelight and sometimes we have to take a backseat and enjoy the moment or support our people.
So what role are you planning to take on ahead? The glamorous main character? Or the reliable side character? Or perhaps a mix of both? The choice is yours because every role makes a difference!