#WednesdayLoveLetter020 — March 24, 2021
Notes
What is it that you wish you had more of?
Mine starts with the letter "M."
Nope, it's not money (but wouldn't hate to have more of this haha).
It's motivation.
I wish I was motivated enough to follow through the promises I made to myself. To show up even when I don't feel like it. To do what I have to do without waiting for the whims of the muses to favor me.
I have watched many videos on this and read many pieces of advice from experts to feeling experts like me (haha). And what's amazing is how most of them come to this conclusion: we got it all wrong.
We don't need motivation to act. We get motivated once we act.
Action comes first. Motivation is the aftermath, the fire-starter of our momentum.
If we wait around for motivation like it's the knight in shining armor and we the damsel in distress (e.g. sitting on the couch and devouring all of Netflix, hoping the right ideas would visit us), surely motivation won't come as fast and often as guilt and shame would.
Then once we drown in the consequences of our inaction, our insides become rotten with guilt and shame for not making a move. 🤧
This is why, in Mark Manson's words, we gotta choose our favorite flavor of sh*t sandwich.
[If you're stumped by this statement, don't worry. you'll get this when you read this week's quote in the Inspiration section of this love letter].
I found his other no-nonsense life advice in the book I never thought I would enjoy: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.
I used to be among the gazillion others who thought motivation comes before action. Thanks to Mark Manson, I no longer subscribe to that idea. Now I strive to take steps (no matter how tiny) to get that momentum that eventually catapults me into a full-blast getting-things-done mama.💃🏻
Action > Motivation > Inspiration
The other wonderful thing about this is once we get in the momentum, our motivation churns out inspiration. And the virtuous cycle goes on and on and on. If you missed the 16th love letter about starting with 5, check it out here for some related practical tips.
Also, it's vital to our mental health to know and understand who we are and what we value most because if not, we might end up putting off the things that could stretch us to the growth that we aim for.
I hold the excerpt below close to my heart for when I need to give myself a little nudge when writing and creating content. I hope it does you some good too. 👇🏼
“Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign. Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember one rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”
― Steven Pressfield, The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks & Win Your Inner Creative Battles
So what it is that you need to do? Break it down into the tiniest steps possible and start from there. Soon you'll begin getting lost in the activity, enjoying the process, and thanking yourself for taking that teeny tiny step. Every freaking time.
Inspiration
"Everything involves sacrifice. Everything includes some sort of cost. Nothing is pleasurable or uplifting all of the time. So, the question becomes: what struggle or sacrifice are you willing to tolerate? Ultimately, what determines our ability to stick with something we care about is our ability to handle the rough patches and ride out the inevitable rotten days.If you want to be a brilliant tech entrepreneur, but you can’t handle failure, then you’re not going to make it far. If you want to be a professional artist, but you aren’t willing to see your work rejected hundreds, if not thousands of times, then you’re done before you start. If you want to be a hotshot court lawyer, but can’t stand the 80-hour workweeks, then I’ve got bad news for you.What unpleasant experiences are you able to handle? Are you able to stay up all night coding? Are you able to put off starting a family for 10 years? Are you able to have people laugh you off the stage over and over again until you get it right?What shit sandwich do you want to eat? Because we all get served one eventually.And your favorite shit sandwich is your competitive advantage. By definition, anything that you’re willing to do (that you enjoy doing) that most people are not willing to do gives you a huge leg-up.So, find your favorite shit sandwich. And you might as well pick one with an olive."
— Mark Manson
Introspection
What project of yours are you putting off?
How much does it matter to you?
If it does, what is the tiniest and simplest step you can take to make progress?
1% always is better than zero.
💌 Just for fun: Email me back your "favorite flavor of sht sandwich." The project or activity or dream that you have and the sacrifices that you are willing to make to reach it. I'll share mine, too. ;)*