[T/N] I apologize for grammar mistakes and incoherencies
SPECIAL CHAPTER 1: Two Hearts
[Bohn]
“Bohn...”
“...”
“Bohn.”
“You scoundrel!!!!”
“What...” I muttered sleepily, blinking rapidly to shake off the sleepiness before slowly opening my eyes. The first thing I saw was my lover by the bed. What's that smell, soap? Are you already showered and dressed? Why are you in such a hurry?
“Wake up, we need to meet at Phii Boss's dorm.” He shook me back and forth. Today, our group is heading to Boss's farm in the countryside. We've been there before, but it was just a short visit. This time, we decided to go for a longer stay...a long one, twelve days.
“Just ten more minutes...”
“No, we'll be late.”
“Ugh...hug me for a bit.” I pulled him into my arms, pressing my nose against his white cheek to inhale the lingering scent. He didn't use face wash, but his cheek smells so good, whose wife is this?
“Bohn, wake up, you sleepyhead.”
“Just a bit more...” I said before giving him a flurry of gentle kisses, but I didn't do more than touch and pull away, making the slender figure laugh cheerfully.
“Uh, don't pull.” The person in my arms squirmed when I shifted from a gentle touch to pulling on his lower lip. His white hand tried to push my face away, but his strength wasn't enough to overcome mine, not by a long shot.
“Just a little.” I moved my lips down to the white neck, trailing the tip of my nose along my lover's skin slowly until he pulled his neck away.
“You never mean just a little, ah...Bohn, no.”
“Just a little, please.”
I whispered close to his ear. At the same time, I slipped my hand under his shirt, the smooth sensation at my fingertips making me smile. I bent down to kiss the nape of his neck gently. Everything seemed to be going well, and I thought I was going to get what I wanted, but I forgot that this is Duenhaw...and this story isn't an erotic romance novel...
“Yo, I told you to get off!!!”
Push!
Crash!!
“Ouch, that hurts, man.” I groaned while gently rubbing my behind, the idiot had kicked me off the bed, damn...my butt hurts, is this how a wife should treat her husband?
“It hurts because you're doing that...go take a shower and get dressed.”
“What?”
“I'm going to make breakfast. If you're not in your new clothes by the time I'm done...you're dead, Bohn.”
“Oh really, is that so?”
“Dead here means...you'll be sexually frustrated because I won't let you touch me for a long time.”
I ran into the bathroom pretty quickly. Not because I was scared...just worried about making everyone else wait too long.
“It smells good.”
“Of course, I made it.”
“I meant the chef, not the food.”
Thud
“Ouch, you're wasting my dignity, do you want to eat rice or me?” Duen said, clearly losing patience. But teasing my boyfriend is my duty, sorry, I really can't stop.
“If I had a choice, I'd want to eat you.”
“Give it a rest, I beg you.”
“Huh.” I sat down to eat properly after teasing him enough. On days I don't tease him, the food doesn't taste as good, like eating Isan food without sticky rice, it's really essential.
“Are you going in this outfit?”
“Uh, why?”
“It's over thirty degrees today, this shirt doesn't breathe...let me get you another one.” After saying that, the future doctor ran into the bedroom. These days he dresses better...but only when we're going out, because his taste hasn't changed, still wearing promotional t-shirts with JJ pants.
“What color shirt will you wear!” Wow. Listen to him shout...thinks he's the only one who can be loud.
“Any color is fine!”
“Be specific, damn it, I can't choose either!”
“Whatever color you like, you bastard!!”
“Aren't you tired of wearing just the colors I like, eating only what I want to eat...you brainless guy!!” You can still get louder, can't you, Duen? Are we competing to see who can be louder?
“Not tired, it's my happiness!!”
“Damn...”
Prick.
You damn. I burst out laughing after our shouting match. Why are we so silly...but this silliness is warm, my heart feels warm like a fireplace.
“Here, your shirt, you airhead.”
“Round two.”
“Alright!”
“Hehe.”
“Quiet, I'm going to talk to Mom, hello...yes, Duen will buy some gifts...haha...tell Daonuea I miss her a lot.” The fool spoke to me before turning to answer the phone, it must be his mom on the line. I don't want to say this because it might sound like I'm bragging, so I'll whisper it, 'Duen's mom loves me so much that Duen has become a rotten dog'...damn, like she read my mind, she even pointed an accusing finger at me. Did I show it that much?
“Yes...oh, Mom, you are always like this, why do you only love him...shh, Bohn, Mom wants to talk to you.”
“Wow, you spoiled brat.”
“I'll hit you...”
“Heh...yes, Mom.” I took the phone from Duen before putting it to my ear and watching the future doctor walk into the kitchen. Since he's been living here, my fridge has never been empty, filled with fresh and dry foods, snacks, butter, and pandan leaves, ha ha.
(Don't act all sweet and soft, you little brat...)
“...” Tell me, is Mom's voice this cold because she's sick or had throat surgery?
(Ha, you're quiet now, huh? Thought you'd get to chat with my wife? You're really something, you've got my son and still want to flirt with my wife.)
“Huh?” I raised my eyebrows at the strange term I just heard. Not that I don't know what it means, but isn't it a bit out of place to use it on me?
(Oh. You're the bottom, my wife is the bottom, don't bottoms call that flirting with each other?)
“Well, yes...but.”
(Don't be embarrassed, Duen already told me when he came home that you're his wife. The only thing we'd discuss is the dowry and the welcoming gift for the son-in-law. What do you want?)
“...”
(Seems you're too happy to speak, just say what you want, don't worry about the price because I'm rich, that's it.)
“I should be the one asking what you want as a welcoming gift.”
(Oh. It's your stuff, why ask me? It's not mine at all.)
“It's not yours, but it's your son's.” I propped my chin, looking at the main subject of this conversation who was watering a small rose plant. Nice move, huh...heh
(...)
“Duen tricked you...he's my wife.” I whispered so only he could hear, then hung up and walked over to hug the lean figure from behind.
“Not going to eat?”
“Not that hungry. You haven't eaten yet, why is there still so much food?”
“Haven't eaten yet.”
“Don't eat then, you'll get a stomach ache.” He furrowed his pretty brows, Duen crossed his arms in displeasure, always worrying about me...I like it.
“The food isn't tasty without you eating too.” A little bit of sugar brightens the day.
“I'm tired of being embarrassed.” Then why cover your cheeks? I can see they're red, oh dear.
“What did you tell your dad?” I asked after pulling him to sit at the dining table properly. We need to have a long talk. If I hadn't talked on the phone with his dad, I wouldn't know who you've been deceiving.
“What do you mean?”
“About me being your wife...”
“...” Silence, his face is funny, eyes wide, mouth agape. Not long after, he started to look shifty, you haven't improved your lying skills at all, have you, Krit?
“Lying isn't good, Duenhaw.” I pointed at him, tilting my chin to look at him. I'm not angry that he told others like that; actually, I found it quite amusing.
“I didn't lie!”
“How is that not lying?”
“You're my wife!” Wow...to this extent.
“How so?”
“Phu said that whoever is on top the first time is the husband, and I was on top.” He said with the confidence of Phu, do you really think that, or are you in Duen's foolish mode?
“You were only there for a second, does that count?”
“I don't care, I consider the first time to decide everything; I'm the husband, and you're the wife.”
“...You damn fool.”
I shook my head before continuing with my breakfast, arguing with him would lead nowhere; he's stubborn as hell. Besides...there's a difference between being called a wife and actually being treated like one.
…
“How long did it take you guys to get here, how many rounds did you go in the bed?”
Once we arrived, Bom teased immediately. Now, all the shredders are here. No...not all, where's the farm owner...you're later than me, you bastard, Boss.
“Quite many, right, darling?”
“Feet or slap, choose one.”
“Feet, of course. Everyone likes a footjob.” Don't make that face. You can choose the option for me, huh.
“...”
“Damn.”
“I'm tired of you. If it weren't for me running out of ideas, huh, you.” Tee complained to himself before picking up a crispy kaffir lime flavored durian to eat. Ugh, I hate it, stop eating that kind of stuff, I won't say anything if you eat it yourself, but why do you have to sell it too? Do you know how much trouble it causes me because Buhn is addicted to your food?
Yeah, Tee has a page too, I think it's called...
“Hello, I'm the admin of the 'Strange Foods You Can Eat' page. Today, I'll introduce you to crispy kaffir lime flavored durian. I put a lot of effort into making this, it was hard work, had to cycle to buy durian from Nong Ee Pood village, take a boat to buy kaffir limes from Koh Lia Haa Ree, the taste is good but might be too bold for some, today...” and he went on, 'Strange Foods You Can Eat' is the name of his page. It's not ordinary; it has over a hundred thousand likes. I don't know if they like Tee's face or his food.
“Where did Boss go?”
“He said he's getting dressed, he'll be out soon.”
“Said to whom? When?”Ting was the one asking. I was curious too...
“Said to me, fifty minutes ago.”
“His tone?”
“Yawny.”
“Have you called him since?”
“Called but no answer.”
“Tang, and you believed him?”
“...You've been tricked, look.” I put my hands on my hips, looking at what I had just seen. The tall, slender figure of the annoying wife walked out slowly, with messy hair, sleep in his eyes, wearing pajamas with underwear patterns, a pink hairband, slippers, and...hugging a Hello Kitty pillow under his arm. Did you just wake up, Boss?
“Damn it, my head spins...” When he reached us, he mumbled something before slowly collapsing onto the grass. Thanarit is so chill...too chill, get up, this house isn't just for you.
“Translate...”
“Good morning, friends.” If I'm not mistaken, I heard a 'fizz' sound from the guy lying on the ground. Are you going to sleep some more, you bastard?
“Phii Boss, are you still here?”
“...”
“Boss.”
“...”
“Wake up!!!”
Everyone walked over to form a circle around Boss before shouting at him in unison. Ting knelt down and shook the sleepyhead vigorously. Now, even Boss is really close with everyone, in a playful way.
“Phii Boss, wake up!” The only girl in the shredders shook him harder until my friend's voice was stuttering and breaking, sounding funny.
“Uh, uh, uh, uh.” (Translation: What's this?)
“Damn it, Boss, go take a shower.” Bom ordered while still looking at his phone screen. He's into anime, some story, I forget the name, something like “Pico”, with a short-haired blonde girl character, but for some reason...I feel uneasy when I see that face, like I'm being trapped.
“Shower what, this is my battle gear.” The annoying wife answered while still keeping his eyes closed. Are you really not going to open your eyes?
“Merk, handle your wife.”
“Boss.” Merk crouched down next to King and gently shook Boss's arm. King didn't even move a pinky, but when it comes to husbands...he opened his eyes to look. Hey, take it easy. Why are you wrapping your arm around his neck?
“Huh, what's up, northern guy...”
“Go shower.”
“No way.”
“Shower quickly, your parents are waiting.”
“Ugh. Don't want to shower, too lazy to grab this and that...” Sometimes you're too stubborn, just give in. We want to go to Chiang Mai so badly. We've been waiting for you so long that Tee has already finished eating all the crispy baked pomelo durian.
“I'll shower you then.”
“Really? Carry me.” Excellent, finally getting a chance to shower, sir. You set the time yourself, but you're the one who's late. Should you be dragged by the ear?
“Okay, the question is, between Boss getting a shower and getting a kid, which will happen first?”
“I bet 500 on the kid.”
“Plus one.” Isn't it gambling if everyone bets on the same side?
“Bohn, can I borrow your phone to play a game?” The person next to me tugged on my shirt sleeve. Lately, he's been into a game where you play as a multi-colored worm that has to slither around to eat glowing, shiny balls. I think the game's called “Slither”. He was watching YouTube the other day, all I heard was, “I'm the flash.” “I'm the worm.” “Cut in front.” “I'm the fastest man alive.” His laughter is still ringing in my ears, damn, his laughter is so powerful.
“Why not use your own phone?” I said as if I wouldn't, but in reality, I handed it to him first before opening my mouth.
“LINE keeps crashing, it's annoying.”
“Turn off the notifications then.”
“Like that will work, how can I turn it off?”
“Heh heh.”
“Are you playing or what...my snake is huge, heh heh.” The idiot doctor boasted while showing me his phone, his snake was really big, both in the game and, well, in his pants. Even if it's not as big as mine...but according to theory, it should be smaller, right? This gives me the creeps. If he ever gets the urge to wrestle with me, what should I do? Wouldn't I be at a disadvantage?
“Huh, I can't play.”
“I will teach you, I am a pro. Look at this, six million score, number one too!!”
“How do you play?” I craned my neck to look at the screen with interest, it didn't look hard. Just eat the colorful lights to get bigger than everyone else, right?
“You just eat the colorful stuff to grow, but eating alone isn't enough. You have to cut in front of others, when they hit you, they die, and when they die, their snake turns into colorful dots. Oh! Don't forget to say, I'm the flash, as EK says.” Who is EK, your lover or something?
“I'd rather not play. I don't like cutting in front of others.”
“Chaloy lopua, creamau cleelasa.”
“Translate.”
“Don't mess with me.”
“Sigh.” I sighed. I don't know how to stop him and King from learning Thanarit's language, just let it go.
We didn't wait long outside the dorm before we saw the annoying wife looking much more civilized than before, did you scrub his skin or what, why is he so bright?
“What did you do to my Thai teacher?” King circled around Boss, poking here and there until Merk had to slap his hand to stop him.
“Just a little something, since we're meeting parents, I wanted him to look better than in pajamas with a moldy pillow...Stand properly, Boss.” The speaker held onto the shoulder of his friend who seemed ready to collapse at any moment. Still sleepy after a shower, huh? Must mean Merk dressed him then.
“Uh, I'm hungry, Tee, can I have some pickled liquor?” After saying that, Boss extended his hand to ask for something to drink from the person holding a jar of pickled fruit.
'pickled liquor', in your definition, you might think it's something soaked in alcohol, right? Phatrawin's herbal liquor isn't much different, but it's just different in what's being soaked in the alcohol...For the alcohol part, my friend uses bootleg liquor, the rest includes tamarind, bael fruit, moringa, pumpkin, custard apple, bilimbi, kaffir lime, lemon, coconut, pomelo, watermelon...uh, those last three or four aren't included.
I'd call it 'Mara Pickle', where 'Mara' comes from various fruits. 'Pickle' is just pickle. I've never tried the taste, and I don't plan to. Just the smell is overwhelming, and I've seen damn Tee boiling it in an earthen pot, with bubbles bursting out with a loud 'whoosh', damn scary. You should change your page name from “Weird Things to Eat” to “Weird Things Only You Can Eat.”
“Want some? I'll share.”
“No, let's get in the car. We're already half an hour late because of you, damn it.”
“Wow, whatever, why scold me? I'll sulk for ten seconds, you have to coax me, or I'll go be ‘cool' with my new husband, Nong Ram.” After saying that, the annoying wife ran to hug Ram's tattooed arm. Today he's wearing a green muscle shirt, showing off his cool tattoos. Is there anyone more badass than you, bastard?
“No, no, don't mess with my junior. Go be 'cool' with whoever but not him.” When the person holding the jar of herbal liquor saw this, he stood up to pry his hand away.
“Why?”
“He's a ding.”
“What the hell, a disease? Ding dong? Ding ding ding?”
“Ding the cake fairy.”
“Ohhhhh, I see.” We all cheered and teased together. The one being teased wasn't embarrassed at all; he walked over to Boss and Duen's second dad with a smile on his face.
“We understand each other, Vera is a bottom.”
King pushed the annoying wife aside and hugged him instead, pretending to flutter his eyelashes and raise his eyebrows to be more annoying. Meanwhile, the one being fought over just sat still, watching the two women (?) fight over him. Wow...Dad is cool.
“King!! You really are so cool. You bastard.”
“You're the cool one, come back to your husband...”
Even if you keep a straight face, I can see you're holding back a smile...Merk, you probably want to make this like some jealous, wild, holding novel (?)
“Yay, darling, he's just kidding, he loves only himself, loves a lot, loves with all his heart.”
“Just give it to him.”
Let them go.
Finally, we were about to leave. The van we used was Tee's, bought with the money he made from selling his weird foods. When asked why he bought it, he answered, 'Oh. It's for traveling to find natural ingredients!!', ha ha.
“Has anyone forgotten anything?”
“Me.”
“Okay, everyone's here, let's go.”
“Me! I said I exploded.”
“I was just asking. Didn't say I'd take you to get it.”
“You bastard...”
After wasting a lot of time, we finally set off. This time, Merk was driving, with the annoying wife beside him, followed by Bom, King, Ram, Tang, and King. The last four seats had Duen, me, and Phu. We'll switch around on the way back.
“This seat is so uncomfortable...”
“What's wrong, Boss?” From here, I couldn't see Boss's expression, but his voice sounded tired.
“It's cramped...”
“Are you sick?” Merk glanced at Boss while still driving.
“No.”
“Then what's wrong?”
“It's not a big deal, I'm wearing a pad today, so it's cramped.”
Wait a minute...
“Fuck, why would you wear one, ha ha ha.” Tang and the rest of us laughed loudly after hearing Boss's answer. Did he really wear one or was he just joking? He probably didn't actually wear one, right?
“Someone said if I was excited, I might get my period, and I was very excited, afraid it might flow like a burst pipe, so I wore one just in case.” Boss spoke while rubbing his own butt, but...where would the period come from?
“Damn, ha ha ha.”
“But you haven't been a girl for a long time...maybe twenty-one years.” Isn't that your age?
“Your period won't come.” Merk said before focusing on driving. Oh. Don't worry so much about your wife. I told you, trying to find sense in someone like Boss is pointless.
“How do you know...I'm so excited to go on a trip with you.” Oh. If you're going to be this diligent in flirting, Boss.
“How can your period come when last time I came inside you? You're pregnant now.”
“Oooooooh.”
Quiet down, dad, quiet...
“Phii Bohn, you accept that? Phii Merk is from the north, man, that pun is so outdated.” The person in front turned to speak to me, why make that face? You're a damn good teaser, that's why, you bastard Phu.
“I'm out of puns.” I shrugged, wrapping my arm around Duen sitting next to me. He still hasn't stopped playing his worm game, completely ignoring me.
“What? Having no puns to tease your boyfriend means you're not good.” Please, Tang, let Phu solo for a bit.
“Yeah...are you just playing with him? Not serious, right?” Is not having puns to tease your boyfriend a sign of insincerity, you bastard, Bom?
“Yeah...”
I said quietly, but it was heard throughout the car. The person playing the game stopped and looked up at me immediately. I looked back without any intention of avoiding eye contact.
“...”
“Dating just to kill time, when we're both ashes, we'll part ways.”
After saying that, I leaned down to kiss his forehead. He smiled as if to say 'I knew it'. You know what kind of person I am.
“Bastard, you said you were out of puns, but you're really clever.” If you're going to scold like that, you might as well hit me, King. No one's scolding Merk for holding back his puns.
“I hate your puns.” Duenhaw elbowed me in the stomach, not too hard. Saying you don't like it but smiling, what's that about, you person with a mouth that doesn't match your heart.
“Why, I thought about it for a long time, don't you like it?”
“Don't like it.” The conversation partner pretended to pout while shaking his head. The more we're together, the more you act like a child...child Bohn, I guess I'll have to declare myself as the boss.
“But your face is red, Duenhaw.” I poked his soft cheek, it really was red, even if not very much.
“I told you not to call me that!” He made a face and immediately grabbed a neck pillow to hit me with. What's wrong, that name is kind of nice.
“I'll call you, Duenhaw, Duenhaw, Duenhaw, Duenhaw, Duen...” I didn't get to tease much before I had to shut up. No, I should say, I was shut up by a white hand.
“Dak Pak!”
“Huh?”
“It means 'shut up' in the Northern dialect.”
“Merk?” This guy is from the North, when he's angry, he slips into his dialect...I've never heard it in person, just heard Boss mention it once.
“Heh, my grandma taught me.” So that means his grandma is from the North, I think he once told a story about his grandma with Phii Thara, but I can't remember.
“Can you speak Northern dialect?” Not that it's anything, I've never heard him say a single word in it, the 'shut up' from earlier was the first sentence I heard. I think the dialect is pretty cute, it sounds old-fashioned and laid-back, nice to listen to.
But it would be even cuter if Duen spoke it for me.
“I can only a little, like ten percent.”
“Can you teach me a word?”
“If I knew how...what word do you want to know?” That's my path.
“I want to hear 'Duen loves Bohn'.”
“...”
The lean figure went silent when I said that, his cheeks, which were just slightly red at first, turned even redder, and his beautiful eyebrows furrowed a bit...I could see he was trying not to be embarrassed.
“Why? Can't you say it?”
“I can, but it's not that different from standard Thai, why waste energy moving your mouth? Do you know how much energy it takes to say one sentence?” Are you looking for an excuse not to say it?
“Whether it's different or not, I want to hear it. If it comes from you.”
“...”
“If you don't say it, I'll kiss you.” After saying that, I reached out to hold his chin, leaning in until our lips almost touched, and that's when he finally spoke.
“You bastard! Ha hak King!!” (Translation: I love you.)
Duen made a sound of irritation, his white face turning red with embarrassment. It might have been a declaration of love just now, but it didn't sound like “Duen loves Bohn”...whatever, it's love all the same. It might mean “I love you very much” in some way.
“It should be like this, give me a kiss.”
“You ass, the car is full of people.”
When Duen said that, everyone in the car turned away, pretending not to care about us, while saying...
“Go all out, friend. I'm a tree.”
“I'm grass.”
“I'm a flea.”
“I'm a worm.”
“I'm a beetle.”
“...”
“I'm the mold on fresh mushrooms.”
“I'm an ant...an ant that bites, I'm hungry.”
“I'm the dust between toes.”
“I'm a little louse that loves...fresh skin.”
“I'm a gibbon. No, I'm a bird...”
You might not guess who said which line, but the last one, you probably know who it belongs to. Women these days are truly pitiful. No, I should say, even more pitiful.
After that, we entered a period of quiet. The silence wasn't for any particular reason, just that we talked until we were tired, and when tired, we got sleepy, so everyone in the car fell asleep except for me, Boss, and Merk, the driver. Me and the annoying wife stayed awake to keep him company. When we offered to drive instead, he refused, saying he felt sorry for us having to listen to Boss's language up close. Oh, dear friend...
True.
Duen fell asleep, using my shoulder as a pillow for the entire journey. I told him not to wake up early because his Thai teacher would wake up late anyway. And that's exactly what happened.
“We've arrived! Boss's parents are here!”
The owner's son of Phrao Fan Farm ran out of the car at high speed when we reached the place. The people mentioned in the sentence were his real parents, but he ran towards...Sai Bai Prua, this buffalo is really living the good life, with pink nails with Hello Kitty designs, a bow, earrings, a collar, eating a burger from a famous mall. Wait, this buffalo eats pork?
Phrao Fan Farm is both a strawberry farm and a resort. It's quite crowded because this place is famous, with annual earnings so high that one could live off it for lifetimes without doing anything else. Shifting focus to my dear friend who is now rolling around like a buffalo with his beloved pet, I wonder what was in his mind when he named it...
“Hello, Mom.”
“Pa Prao, hello.”
“Oh, you've arrived, kids, why are you rolling around like that, Boss, get up!” The newcomer ordered, arms crossed. She is Aunt Prao, the owner of the farm and also Boss's mother.
“Yes, ma'am!” The son got up from the ground, ran to hug his mother, then lifted her off the ground and spun her around. Hey hey...that's your mom, man.
“Let go of Phrao Fan, Thanarat.”
“I missed you!”
“Don't hug, don't act like we're close when you only visit your hometown once or twice a year.” The newcomer complained, pushing his face away as if not wanting to get close.
“Oh, are you upset? Come on, hug, hug.”
“Enough, you crazy bunch...how was your trip, are you tired?”
“Not at all. We slept all the way, ha ha.”
“Phii Merk must be tired, driving alone all the way.” Tang gave a salute to the driver, and indeed, even if he's not Bohn, he must be sore.
“Why didn't you let this nutcase drive, son? Make him work a bit.” No need to ask who 'this nutcase' refers to.
“I volunteered, but my dear mom wouldn't let me.”
“I spoil him too much...come on, go put your bags away first.” We followed her instructions without any hassle, our accommodations were in the resort, with six rooms opened, two people per room. Initially, she arranged twelve rooms according to the number of people, but would the fan club agree? Six rooms were the maximum she would allow. We asked for three, but she said if we took less, she'd send us to sleep elsewhere; she must really love us.
“Hey, who was that person from before?” Duen nudged my shoulder, I almost forgot you were here. If you're going to be stuck on the game that much, Krisda, my battery must have drained by now.
“Okay, stop playing the game. You'll get eye strain soon.” I reached out to grab the phone, but only caught air as Duen dodged, damn it, you play too much, you'll go blind soon.
“I'm almost at ten million, just a little more.”
“You've been saying 'just a little more' many times now.”
“Bohn, Pukken is getting big, man.”
“That's their business.”
“Stop flirting and let's go play in the water, you guys!!”
[Duenhaw]
Bam!
Sizzle!
“Ow, damn Boss!!”
“I am the king of the world, hahaha.” The son of the farm owner laughed loudly, spraying water at everyone who came close, which is to say...all his friends.
Our group came to play in the water at the pool. It's not just us, there are many people of different nationalities playing too. As for Phii Bom and the other, do they join in? Heh. No.
“Aren't you going to swim in the water?” The person next to me asked. It's not just anyone, it's Ram, my dear friend. There are five of us not playing in the water: me, Ram, Phii Tang, Phu, and Phii Tee. Ram doesn't like water anyway, so he doesn't go in. Phii Tang and Phu don't go because they're sitting there looking cool and flirting with girls. As for Tee...he's busy producing Thanarit brand drinking water.
“I'm not really in the mood yet, too many people.” I looked out at the population in the pool, there's barely any space to swim. How can you play in there, Bohn...wait, I feel like there are especially many around Bohn.
“Aren't you going to keep an eye on him?” Ram put down his book, resting his chin in his hand, looking at the rascal surrounded by girls. When I looked closer, I saw he was making the most serious face...ha, that's funny, the tiger turning into a monk.
And then,
“Nah, trust him, hah.”
“Really...”
“You got something to say, spit it out, bro.” He glanced back, oh wow.
“I heard from Phii Tee that your boyfriend likes aggressive girls...like that one.”
I followed the girl's tattooed finger before seeing a woman wiggling her way towards Bohn. She had an hourglass figure, sleek black hair, slightly tanned skin, and a tiny bikini that made her look undeniably sexy. The way she looked at Bohn clearly showed her interest.
“Let's see what happens.”
“You're still smiling, huh? That's your boyfriend.”
“Yeah, he's my boyfriend, that's why I'm smiling.”
“Would you still be smiling if your boyfriend was secretly interested in someone else...?”
“...” My eyebrows started to furrow unconsciously when my lover's sharp gaze met hers for a brief moment. Though he quickly looked away, it was clearly awkward. Not as composed as usual, “What's wrong with that...?”
“Everyone slips when they see someone who fits their spec.”
“How do you know? Normally, you don't care about other people.” Unless it's about close friends or family, he doesn't care, he didn't even remember Tee's name back then.
“He's famous. Even if you don't want to hear about it, people talk about him every day.”
“Is he that famous...?” I said to myself. I knew he was famous, but maybe I didn't realize it because I'm always with him...And when we're not together, do people like that come to flirt with him, and how does he handle it?
“Don't think too much about it.”
“You're the one who brought it up. Admit it, do you hate him?”
“Just, a, little, bit...”
“Ha ha.”
“Don't furrow your brows, remember you trust each other.”
“I trust him. I'm not stressed at all. You're the one overthinking.” Usually...I don't feel anything. Just a little tug at the heart, that's all.
“...”
“Let's go swim.”
“Hey, hey, no way, you madman.”
I shouted loudly while trying to push off the big guy, but Ram lifted me up instead, oh my god. You've gone too far, Phii Duen isn't a stuffed toy, damn it!
“Let me go, man!” The person carrying me didn't care about my protests but instead quickly carried me to the edge of the pool, shaking me as if to throw me in for fun, making everyone in the pool turn to look. I screamed!
“Let's cool off in the water, Duen, huh?”
“No, Ram.” I shook my head vigorously, holding onto his neck tighter, ha. Just by holding onto you like this, I won't be thrown in. I'm not stupid, you know, heh...heh.
Splash!
Both of us ended up in the water. Ram didn't jump in, he was pushed by someone I couldn't quite see, I just knew they were holding a green squid, which was quite ugly.
“What the fck?!”
We both surfaced to look at the culprit. Ugh, I choked, damn, let me see who it is...I knew it had to be him, the only one who eats weird things...how could you do this to your own junior, Tee...oh, you can do it, but can I dodge first?
“Flirting isn't good, you know, munch munch, this tamarind-flavored squid is really tasty.”
“Stop eating...”
“What, you sinner, munch. If there's nothing tastier to trade, I won't stop, you know, munch.”
“You'd probably prefer to eat my fist over that squid.”
Ram looked at his own code senior before snapping his finger with a loud crack, oh man, this doesn't look good, I need to find a safe spot...time to run, so I swam as fast as I could to Tang on the other side, and indeed, it was the right move to escape.
“Aah! No way, man-”
Splash!
“Ugh, face down...Phii Tee, you're in for it.”
“What's going on?” Tang asked, looking at the scene with pity as Phii Tee had already finished eating that squid. Otherwise, the whole pool would've smelled like tamarind leaves. Oh...should I be worried about him first? Sorry.
“Phii Tee got punished by Ram.”
“Oh dear...”
We watched the scene for a while before going back to playing in the water. Hey, there's a cute little kid playing with a duck float too, it reminds me of Daonuea. Ah, that little girl has cat ears on her head, huh, Phii Duen is about to choke on his guess.
“You look like an old man eyeing to eat a child, Duenhaw.”
“No way, this is the face of a doctor who loves kids.”
“Lolicon, then!” The rascal flicked my forehead, it hurt, damn it, why don't you just punch me instead?
“Ouch, and how did you manage to escape from the circle of girls?” Not just a few, I'd say more than fifteen, damn scary. If I were in the middle of that, I'd be trembling and crying by now.
“How, you ask...I used Boss and Merk as bait and then swam away.”
He pointed his thumb backward, and when I looked, I saw Phii Boss charming the women with his stern face. As for Phii Merk...he was as composed as ever, but believe it or not, just that was enough to make the girls scream until their throats melted.
And then,
“Why are you not wearing a shirt?” The jealous one furrowed his brows at my chest, oh, just noticed that, huh? I thought he had seen it ages ago.
“Why should I wear one, it's not like I'm trying to impress the girls.”
“But I'm jealous.” He pushed me towards the edge of the pool and then used his body to block anyone's view. Was I here to swim with my boyfriend or with my dad? So possessive. Even if it's kind of cute...it's also quite annoying.
“This is about you, this is my body.” I splashed water at him until he was soaking wet like a little puppy, damn. Look at that calm gaze, it's exactly like a husky, I want to take a photo right now, ha ha ha.
“Want some of this? ...Here you go.”
And then...he splashed water at me like a machine, cheating bastard. Where did you get that bucket from! I know...it was Phii Bom behind you, right? You're a traitor, Phii Bom, you said you were on my side at first. Whoever betrays Phii Duen must die.
“Aargh, just kidding, I have nothing to do with this, Duen.”
“You helped him, you die, Phii Bom.”
“Hey hey, are we playing water fight? Hurry up, husband, let's join in.”
“What are we playing? Even Tang is joining?”
“Me and Phu too.”
“Me too, come here quickly, Nong.”
“Me...Phii Tee wants to play too.”
What started as small skirmishes has now turned into a full-blown battle of the 'Ting' villagers, “the last man standing.” Our war has two strong armies: one is the “Rough and Silent Cool Guys” (Bohn, Ram, Boss, Phii Tang, Ting, Bom), and the other is the “Weird and Silent Beautiful Dolls” (Duen, Tee, King, Phu, Bom, Merk). Only the strongest will remain!
“Ugh, bam, Tang attacks Merk's groin.” the farm owner's son pointed and commanded before getting water splashed in his mouth by Phii King. This guy plays rough, just a moment ago he jumped on Ram's shoulders...but it's good. They're on opposite sides, we must kill them until no trace remains!
“Is that good? Ugh, is it? Cough! Ouch, you're splashing too hard, Bom!”
“Haha, ugh.”
Phii Tang clashes with Phii Bom, next to them is the only beautiful girl in the group, King, who is splashing water at someone I can't see clearly...hey, that's...
“Damn, Ting, we're on the same side!”
“I don't care, I hate you, that guy just stared at you, I'm jealous! Die, you bastard!”
“Aaaah, ugh.”
“Phut phut, phing phang, praroe proe.”
“What does that mean again? Your vocabulary gets harder every day, Boss.”
“Bam bam...it means, die, you small balls!”
“They're not small, damn it, ugh, haha.”
Now, there are buckets, basins, cans, cups, and all sorts of things you can find around the pool, not to mention each person's individual skills. Look at Phii Merk, he's trading his handsomeness...for a high-pressure water gun, well done, Phii.
“What are you daydreaming about, dear?”
A deep, soft voice sounded by my ear, accompanied by a hug around the waist and water pouring from above, ugh, it's going up my nose. If you didn't say we're lovers, I'd think you hate me, for real.
“Ugh, you bastard!”
“Your face is so red, haha.” The tall figure poked my cheek a couple of times, his sharp nose pressing against my left temple playfully, hey, don't play hot and cold with Phii Duen!
“Let go, damn it.”
“No, I want to be cute with you.” Wait a minute...
“What are you calling me, you rascal, ha ha?”
“Just wanted to be all lovey-dovey with my boyfriend, seeing others do it.”
“And do I have to say it too, huh?” Let's tease him a bit, otherwise, Phii Duen would seem too cold.
“Say it. When you say it, it's the cutest, huh?”
As the laughter in his throat ceased, his big hand pushed my head under water. Just as I was about to protest, he followed me down and sealed his lips against mine underwater, damn it!
My mind scattered when his hot tongue slipped into my mouth, teasing and playing with mine. His large hand adjusted my face to the angle he wanted, and with the touch he provided, I got lost in the moment, my hands unconsciously wrapping around his neck, pulling him closer until there was no space between us. The gentle kiss turned fierce and passionate. It took a while before we surfaced, my arms still around his neck, his hands still around my waist, my heart beating so hard it felt like it was about to burst. What the hell was I doing?
So embarrassing...
“I thought you guys were going to do it in the water. I even prepared a waterproof camera.” Phii Bom and the others were watching us, arms crossed, teasing.
“The girls' faces are all falling apart, poor them.” Phu glanced at the group of girls who had been surrounding Bohn earlier. They were biting their lips, looking at us with disappointment.
“Yeah, look at that one, her face is hilarious, ha ha ha.”
“How about we make a sign saying, 'These two are married,' so people know before they try anything?” Tang suggested.
“Yeah, sounds interesting.”
“Let's go, let's go design it.”
And then they went to the edge of the pool, drawing and designing a sign seriously, even bringing a design table. They really are taking this seriously...they didn't need to go that far...
“Did you like the kiss just now, hmm?” I almost forgot you were here. I looked at my lover with irritation. Why does it feel like my heart beats faster the more we're together?
“You're crazy, you shameless person.”
“But you liked it, didn't you? You've been holding on for so long...still haven't let go, huh huh.”
I flinched and quickly pulled away, only then realizing I was still clinging to him. Damn, my image as Phii Duen is ruined. Now others might think I'm into PDA or overly possessive of my boyfriend, media alert.
“I...thought you were cold.”
“Cute.”
“Say it, I won't be embarrassed.” I looked away, picking at my nails. After being together for over a year, I've learned how to keep from being embarrassed, which is by not looking into those sharp eyes that aren't mocking me, you rascal...when will it stop?
“Cute, cute, cute, cute...so cute, dear.”
The tall figure moved closer until my back was against the edge of the pool, repeating “cute” over and over. I could tolerate that, but when he took my hand and kissed it at the end of the last word...boom! My face exploded from the heat, damn it!!! You scoundrel, you damn tease!! You stir up trouble, you damn buffalo, you crooked trunk, you menstruating ant, you cold-hearted slave master, you damn fool, fool, fool, fool!!!
“Enough, Bohn...”
“Hehe.”
Before my face could burn any more, a clear voice like a golden bell from heaven came to my rescue, Phii Bom. I love you, Phii.
“Bohn, your mom's calling.”
“Thanks! You can go back to our room first, Duen, I'll go talk to my mom for a bit.” The first sentence was said to Phii Bom. The second was directed at me. I nodded back, go on then, I'm not ready to get out, it's nice and cool now. Plus, there aren't many people around anymore, I should swim a bit.
Did I ever tell you that I'm a swimmer? It's the only sport I like and am good at. I've won medals and trophies too, Phu is so proud of himself...but I haven't swum in a while because of heavy studies. And there's no water in the pool at home; they drained it and planted carrots instead because before that, Daonuea wanted to grow carrots...so they went to plant them in the garden.
“Ram?”
“?”
“How's it going with Phii King?” The quiet guy not talking much with the artistic guy...it's strange, but I don't want to dwell on the strangeness much because my own relationship isn't exactly normal, hehe.
“Good...very.”
“Don't tease him too often.”
“Can't promise...but I'll try.”
I chatted with him a bit more before floating on my back in the pool. I don't know how long it was, but when I looked around again, only Ram was left, lying there. What's going on, by the time I realized it, the sky had turned orange with hints of purple.
Yawning, I'm so sleepy.
“Duen!”
The shout of my name echoed around the area, waking me up. The one yelling was Bohn, who was running towards us from far away, looking quite rushed. Where are you going, Nong Bohn? You've run so far, you can rest in my heart if you want, my dear...What am I even saying, I always get like this when I'm sleepy.
“Hmm?”
“What are you doing, I thought you were gone, I was worried sick.”
“Ha ha.” your face is so funny.
“Don't laugh, come out now.”
“Can I have another ten minutes?” I pleaded in a soft voice. The pool, the sunset, and my boyfriend...this is madness. Who would let such a moment pass?
“No way. Get out now.” Damn you...
“Ugh, you cruel one, you're such a mood killer.” You can fight me in front of everyone, anywhere, anytime, but when it's a romantic moment, you ignore it, you damn ox.
“Hurry up. If you catch a cold, I'll beat you up without mercy.”
“Do you know you're talking to someone studying to be a doctor?”
“I know. How could I not, when that doctor is my boyfriend?”
“...”
“Uh...”
After getting out of the water, me, Ram, and Bohn went to Phii Boss's house, a real house, situated in a strawberry field. It's just a short drive away, very natural. Phii King liked it so much he even wanted to become Phii Boss's son-in-law, but he had to let go of the idea because he was afraid of messing up the friendship.
“Feel at home, son, I have prepared her best dishes.”
“Wow, Mom, this is enough to feed the whole village.”
“Boss, you be quiet.”
“Pfft!”
“Thank you very much, Mom. We really appreciate it...”
“Be considerate and eat it all up.
It's mealtime, and the table is full of various types of food, amazing, everything looks so delicious, I feel so sorry for Phii Boss's mom for having to feed us, the 'Ting' villagers.
“Tang, serve me some shrimp.” Tingting pointed at the shrimp dish, speaking of Ting...poor girl. Not because Tang's gay, mind you, but because Tang pranked her by sticking a plaster on his back with a message that, once removed after being in the sun, read, 'Ting is an asshole.' You're so mean, Tang.
But when Pornpana realized, she used Tang authority like a true slave master, as she should.
“Ah.”
“Give me that too, that, that, that, that, that too, please.”
“At least...finish what's in your plate first, or you'll really get fat.”
“That's my problem, I'll accept getting fat, stop talking and serve me, comrade!” Ting took out a tissue, made it into a whip, and struck the other hard...how hard? Guess, hehe.
“Yes, yes.”
I watched the scene in front of me with amusement. Don't think I'm eating dinner. As I've mentioned, Phii Duen doesn't eat dinner, my role now is...to serve rice to Bohn, is he crippled or what?
“I want some fried pork.” The rascal spoke while pointing at the garlic fried pork, wait a sec, pointing with one hand but no hand to eat the rice?
“Ah.” I served the fried pork onto his plate as requested, and just as I was about to go back to playing the worm game, I was stopped by the person next to me grabbing my hand.
“Feed me.”
I wish you could see his face, like a baby bird waiting for food from its mother, like a dog waiting for its owner, like something cute and begging, ah, begging at my feet, my feet are twitching.
“Don't you have hands, Bohn? You're acting like a spoiled husband.”
“Yeah, I'm jealous.”
“Look at him, look at his face, it's really punchable.”
“You're just jealous, huh.” He's not jealous, he's genuinely annoyed!
“Believe me, that guy from earlier was a ghost.” The room's owner pointed at a man on the screen. We're watching a horror movie, something supposedly scary...see, I told you we didn't need to open several rooms because we'd all end up huddled in one anyway. Seriously, Phii Boss's room isn't that big, we're practically sitting on each other's laps, but for some reason, we don't want to split up.
“So damn evil, how could they do that, both of them are really vile...even if the fat guy has changed for the better.”
“But I think it's better to be evil and know when to stop rather than being the worst without realizing it, Phii Tang.”
“Poor Carot, oh my, this is what happens when you fall for a guy...sweet water kills the careless ant, sweet words the careless heart.”
“Bom...her name is Carol, not Carrot, you forgetful one.”
And there were many more voices critiquing the movie in front of us. I think it's quite scary but sometimes it's also funny, especially Bohn, who's scared of ghosts. When there's a ghost scene, he jumps so much it cracks me up, ha ha ha.
“What are you laughing at?”
“Nothing...just a yawn.”
“...”
Are you sulking now, ha ha?
I leaned back to rest against the backrest, watching the people around me who were absorbed in the movie. My eyelids slowly closed without me realizing it, and my head eventually rested on a broad shoulder.
“Are you sleepy?”
“Yeah...a bit, probably because I swam too much, so I'm kind of tired.”
“You're not sick, are you, Duen?” Bohn looked down at me, his hand touching my forehead, checking. Sick? There's a chance, I'm tired, my body aches, and I have a headache, but my temperature is normal...I'm probably not sick. I'm as healthy as can be; the last time I was sick was four years ago. I remember being thrown into an ice bath by the jungle because they wanted me to be a tough man or something.
“Just tired, that's all...”