Maple found me from Vermont. It started with a near visit to the hospital after a bout with the "Rona", which supposedly triggered a slew of pre-existing conditions. She hadn't slept in over 24 hrs due to being in pain from all the flareups from Lupus and other issues. "I don't know about the Rona or the pre-existing conditions, but I can help with the sleep," I thought. She was desperate so I offered to help. It was already very late so if she didn't improve, her family could simply take her to the ER the next morning to seek proper medical attention. Turned out I could help with both. An emergency hospital trip was averted. Curious, I asked what her other pre-existing conditions were. Well, it's been over a year and I don't think she's done listing all her conditions yet.
What's unusual about Maple's session was I kept picking up bread. Among her many ailments, Maple has Celiac Disease, which means gluten destroys her stomach so she isn't just avoiding it to be trendy. Yet, at one point, there was a distinct baguette floating around in my mind's eye like a screensaver. Later, many round sourdough loaves would join the party. People tend to think that having clairvoyant abilities is cool because they think things play out in your mind's eye like a movie sequence, but it doesn't happen like that at all, at least not for me. It's like an overly complicated game of cosmic Pictionary because nobody is there to give you immediate feedback if your guesses on the meaning behind the imagery is right or wrong. I absolutely stink at it because I'm very left-brained and have a hard time thinking in metaphors and symbols. The unexpected midnight carb party did send me into a slight panic for a hot second though because I didn't know what it meant, but I knew Maple has Celiac and can't have most bread. However, it was also so strangely absurd that I'm being overwhelmed by bread during an emergency crisis that I just had to laugh. Maybe it was the Universe's way of getting me to relax. Maple did say she woke up the next morning and the first thing she was drawn to was having toast for breakfast, even though she almost never eats toast, which is completely understandable because who wants to eat gluten-free bread?
Since then, the baguette has become a cosmic inside joke of sorts. Like a week later, my housemate came home and asked me, "Guess what I almost did today?" Evidently, she's on some local Facebook giveaway page and someone was giving away a fake baguette. Now, think about this for a second. Who even owns a fake baguette in the first place and suddenly needs to give away this very specific and strange novelty item? This person also happens to live in my town??? Well, my housemate was going to claim it and as a joke, hide it in my bed or something to surprise me. At the time, she didn't even know about Maple and the psychic bread party I had. She wouldn't know the extent of shock I really would be in if I suddenly found a fake baguette in my room. On the outside, I remained cool, calm, and collected, but my heart definitely skipped a beat when she admitted to her baguette plot.
I eventually met up with Maple up in Vermont. We visited the resort town of Stowe and I ducked into a store downtown to look for souvenirs. A display table with miscellaneous wares immediately greeted incoming patrons at the door, and lying across the edge, front and center, was...a fake baguette. Again, what are the chances? The Universe now drops baguettes unexpectedly in my path if it's trying to get my attention about Maple and friends feel the need to send me pictures of the baguettes they've encountered in the wild. I have successfully achieved quantum entanglement with French bread.
"The baguette will humble you, but if you go in with humility, you will come out stronger for it."
- King Arthur Baking Company (also based in Vermont)
Maple became my first long-term Guinea Pig. The success of her experiment has led her to become one of my biggest cheerleaders, which is both endearing and simultaneously annoying, because now she keeps trying to push me out from under the rock I've been hiding under to go save the world. I'm only putting up with it because I still have hope that one day, she will defeat gluten and enjoy the pillowy soft, chewy texture of bread after the initial crunchy bite. I'm now haunted by baguettes though.
[ Continue reading Codename: Maple - Part 2 ]