The Duchess of Anticlere - 11

The Duchess of Anticlere - 11

Jun 05, 2022

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"Well, I honestly didn't think you'd show up." said Skavild, on Middas afternoon.

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"Do you want me to go away again?" said Ondolemar. "Because I can."

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"In fact, I'll come back next week. Good-bye."

Skavild shouted, "Get back in here, I thought you wanted this over with."

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"I do, but I don't, if you understand." said Ondolemar.

"I'm not happier about this than you are, you know. Well, I know it was my oath, what I took in Hammerfell, but you just mindlessly charged off after the Second Archivist without checking that she wasn't trying to become a lich first."

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Ondolemar reluctantly approached the desk. "What do I have to do?"

"Just bend over, I suppose. I've never smacked an elf on the arse. I have to be able to find it."

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"But I thought you had experience in these matters. How will you know what to do?"

"Oh, I'll know. Shor's Bones, man, take your hands away from your backside and turn round, you're going to make this take all afternoon."

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Downstairs, the door swung open and an Altmer and a Bosmer, both carrying official ceremonial weapons of the Thalmor, stalked in.

"Ondolemar?" said the Bosmer.

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"no." said aranwen. "i'm aranwen. please speak very quietly. otherwise i can't hear you. thank you."

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"This is Lord Carenar, Second Emissary of the Archon of War's Office in Alinor." said the Bosmer. "I am Captain Daalin, stategic attaché."

"What is wrong with you?" said Lord Carenar. "Why are you all sweaty and glassy-eyed?"

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"sweaty? glassy-eyed. i'm just happy to see you." said aranwen. "and hear you, and honestly you don't need to shout at me, i have really good hearing, and..."

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"Silence!" shouted Lord Carenar.

"Silence!" yelled Captain Daalin.

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"We are here to assess whether it is appropriate to return Ondolemar to his ordinary duties. Where is he?" said Lord Carenar.

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Captain Daalin said, "We will determine if his conduct carries the dignity we would expect of a senior Justiciar."

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"well, why didn't you... ow... why not say so straight away? i saw him go up to the library. go right up, lordships. please don't clomp about on the stairs too much."

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"Look." said Skavild. "If you don't stop squirming we'll never get this done. There. Now, just hold still and no more questions. I have to concentrate." Skavild took a deep breath and missed.

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"Damn this, why can't I do it? What's hard about this? It's that damned Aranwen, pretending to be my Ma so I could smack her on the arse."

"But your mother was not in Hammerfell." said Ondolemar. "Why do you want to strike your mother on the bottom?"

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Skavild swapped to the other side of the desk to see if that was any easier. "I DON'T want to smack my Ma, I'm just distracted because she's been reading dirty books and Aranwen is taking advantage of my delicate nerves."

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"By the limp wings of sad Peyrite." said the voice from the doorway. "What do you think you are doing?"

"Well, I might ask you the same question." said Skavild. "This is a private library."

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"Wrong." said Lord Carenar. "This is a Thalmor library and I am Second Emissary Carenar. "Why have you bent Ondolemar over that desk and why is he allowing it?"

"Hey." said Skavild. "Perhaps he's an Altmer who cares about honouring tradition, and his family's good name."

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"So," Skavild concluded. "don't go barging in and interrupting people's appointments without knocking."

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"His family's good name?" demanded Lord Carenar. "You can rest assured that I shall be imparting to his noble father tales of his continued strange behaviour. I presume you are Skavild the human, so you can tell your Second Archivist that I am unimpressed by the strange activities that I have witnessed here during her absence. I have no doubt that she will be as displeased as I am."

"Fine by me!" said Skavild.

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"And you're politely excused from coming back until you know how to knock on a door."

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Lord Carenar turned and flounced out onto the gallery. "Daalin! We're leaving!"

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"Ah... you look tired." said Skavild to Ondolemar. "You know, I think we should reschedule."

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"Steward." said Jarl Elisif. "Have the rest of the invitations been issued?"

"Well, they have, my Jarl. But the Thalmor looked quite unhappy and promised to ruin the banquet. Are you sure about inviting her?"

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"Yes, Falk. All prominent citizens of Solitude, whether born or stationed." said the Jarl. "It must be a throng."

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Both of them turned towards the fireplace with mounting dread as Malvilda, Lady Flyte, Duchess of Anticlere, rustled her dress out of her seat. "Dear Cousin Elisif. I hope I do not detect uncertainty on the numbers for the banquet."

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"I simply adore Eldaline. She must be there. It would throw out our entire seating arrangement. Then I would have to invite Lulincka, simply to make up the numbers, and you know I do not want to do that."

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The Jarl gave a short, bleating laugh, louder than even she expected. "Of course not, Cousin Malvilda. Everything will be exactly as arranged."

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"It is no surprise to me that you are the darling of the great and the noble from Elsweyr to Morrowind! You look after everyone so well. But take heed. Adulation is a gossamer veil. How seductively it shimmers, and how violently it tears."

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"That is wonderful!" said the Jarl, hurrying away. "I must find my pink ribbons."

"Oh, hurrah!" said Lady Flyte.

"Yes!" said Jarl Elisif.

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"Be careful in the bathroom, Jarl Elisif, there was a Thalmor in the cupboard before." said Falk.

"Thank you!"

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Now without a Jarl to observe her, Lady Flyte turned to the steward. "Now, Falk, you dashing rogue." she said. "Don't think I didn't see you looking down my dress."

"Lady Flyte, I would never..." Falk began.

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"I must have my seating arrangement honoured, or I shall be inconsolably displeased." she said. "Much depends upon it. And, of course, it was good of you not to tell the Jarl that I stole the line about Gossamer Adulation from a particularly naughty book by Doryli Vlars. It really wouldn't do for the lovely innocent girl to know that her trusted steward reads such things."

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"Where are you going, Skavild? How did the meeting with Lord Carenar go?" said Aranwen, chasing him out of the city gates.

"I'm just going to my Ma's, Aranwen. I'm going to look at some more of these books."

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"The dirty ones she was reading? I'm coming too."

"No, you're not, it's my Ma's house."

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"I am coming," said Aranwen. "because as a Fist of Thalmor, I'm allowed to go into any house in Haafingar I want, but I promise I won't look at your funny Talos paraphernalia, I just want to look at the dirty books and no shiny-headed Nord is going to stop me."

"Fine, but don't move her ornaments about. She hates not being able to find things."

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Before very long they had reached the sawmill of Solitude. "Look at all this wood." said Aranwen. "Where's your mother?"

"Off on a long weekend trip with Rufus, prob'ly taking him round Labyrinthian again. He loves that place."

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"Here we are, Ma's house. Now, I noticed something strange the other day in that advance copy of the book about the Sorceress who... ah... er... that Sorceress. Those er, Knights that come to arrest her..."

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"You've got an advance copy of 'The Fall of the Sorceress'?" said Aranwen. "And no wonder, this place is massive. It's nearly as big as my house. Your mum must be rolling in it."

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"Aye, it's a nice house." said Skavild. "The Knights that come to arrest the Sorceress before ah, before the story, er, gets going properly, they're called the Knights of the Shining Phalanx. I remember now where I heard that name before."

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continues

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