As Valentine's Day approaches, I'm reminded of the many emotions this day stirs up in people across the globe. For some, it's a day of romance and love, marked by flowers, chocolates, and sweet nothings. But for others, it can be a day of loneliness, a stark reminder of what seems to be missing. I've been through all these phases β as a single person, while dating, and even in marriage.
Over the years, I've discovered that Valentine's Day doesn't have to be a day of despair or unmet expectations. Instead, it can be a beautiful opportunity for self-love and personal celebration, regardless of your relationship status.
As a Single Person
There was a time when Valentine's Day was a difficult reminder of my single status. Everywhere I looked, there were couples holding hands, and it felt like the world was telling me I was missing out. But I learned that being single on Valentine's Day didn't mean I was lacking love; it meant I had a unique opportunity to explore self-love.
I started by treating myself the way I would want a significant other to treat me. I indulged in my favorite activities β be it a solo movie night, a relaxing bubble bath, or reading a good book. I learned to cook my favorite meal, treating myself to a candlelit dinner. I realized that loving myself was not just an act of rebellion against the commercialized narrative of Valentine's Day; it was an essential practice for my well-being.
While Dating
When I was dating, Valentine's Day came with its own set of pressures. There was an unspoken expectation to make the day special and romantic. But I learned that the essence of this day didn't have to hinge on grand gestures or expensive gifts. It was about the quality of time spent together and the appreciation of each other.
My partner and I decided to use Valentine's Day as an opportunity to deepen our connection. Instead of fancy dinners, we chose activities that brought us closer β like taking a hike, doing a DIY project together, or simply sharing our dreams and aspirations. This shift in perspective helped us build a more meaningful and authentic relationship, grounded in mutual respect and understanding.
In Marriage
As a married person, I realized that Valentine's Day could easily become routine or be overlooked amidst life's busyness. To keep the spark alive, my spouse and I decided to view this day as a reminder to nurture our relationship. We started creating traditions that were unique to us β such as writing love letters to each other or revisiting the place we first met.
Importantly, we also recognized the significance of self-love within our marriage. We gave each other the space to pursue individual interests and self-care routines. This mutual respect for personal growth and happiness only strengthened our bond.
Universal Self-Love Practices
Regardless of relationship status, there are universal practices of self-love that I've found beneficial:
Mindfulness and Reflection: I take time to reflect on my life journey, acknowledging my growth and the challenges I've overcome. This practice of mindfulness keeps me grounded and grateful.
Self-Care Rituals: Whether it's a spa day at home, a workout session, or just quiet time with a cup of tea, prioritizing self-care has been crucial for my mental and emotional well-being.
Pursuing Passions: Valentine's Day is a perfect excuse to spend time doing what I love, be it painting, writing, or dancing. Engaging in these activities fills me with joy and a sense of accomplishment.
Connecting with Loved Ones: Valentine's Day is about love in all forms. I reach out to family and friends, reminding them of their importance in my life and strengthening these vital connections.
Spreading Kindness: Acts of kindness, whether volunteering or simply offering a smile to a stranger, have a way of boosting my spirits and spreading love in the community.
In all honesty, Valentine's Day is more than a celebration of romantic love; it's a day to honor love in all its forms, including the love we give ourselves. By shifting our focus from what we might be lacking to appreciating what we have and who we are, we can transform this day into a positive, uplifting experience. Let's use Valentine's Day as a reminder to cherish ourselves and the love that surrounds us in various forms. Remember, self-love isn't selfish; it's essential.